没意识。

I walk in the rain to hide my tears. My feelings are rather to be wash away as nobody seems to feel it anyway.

Its 7pm. Every worker in all part of singapore starts to rush home. Lucky for me, I am working at harbourfront. That's so great, as i will have seats to rest my feet from 1 end to another. Crowd after crowd filled the cubicle station after station. War will develop as space is limitted for everybody. Walkway disappear not long after a few station. There I am, happily and relieved to get a space with is not squeezy and do not need to fight bitterly to get some space to stand comfortably.

Was chatting on the phone, suddenly thought of no dinner came to my forgetful mind. I guess I take granted for my dinner to be fixed by my mama every evening. But i am glad to eat out as i can meet my dear for dinner, as I am MISSING HER ALOT. I was reaching potong pasir in a bout a minute, she was still hesistating whether to meet. I was rushing for an answer as i reached the station and the door had open. Just then she say ok and i squeeze all i can through the swarm of crowds. Yes, swarm. Everybody just stick together tightly and not even a rat can squeeze through. All i was apologizing as i squeeze through. People after people, they seems hard to understand "Excuse Me". I can't see that being polite can help me out in this situation. Just i about squeezing through and left few steps to the door, bell rang, door close, my heart sank deeply into the bottom of D (SAD).

I am sad and disappointed. I was blaming all the people that block my way, but i look at the reflection and feel i should say earlier anyway. What's more luck coming my way, i couldn't get any reception. or its the opposite. Feeling she will call me back, i wait. Wait for too long, i decided to message her as i thought maybe its not reception but her handphone battery were low like yesterday. Then she asking what happen, i told her what i experience but didn't know what i get was blaming me from not getting down. I try all i could just to know as long as you fail, you fail. There wont be 2nd chance, everybody will blame you, say you, hurt you, criticse you, won't understand how hard you put an effort to it.


I just couldn't bring myself to talk to someone that i have explain but i still get the blame. If you think i am lying, then its really no point.

NO POINT.

HarbourFront Holiday.

Today is the last day of my freedom. I will be again tied down to a job. A job that is kinda serious and i need it very much. All you going to see me will be long sleeves shirt and black pants black shoe and maybe those clothes i have worn a numerous of times. LOL. I am not sure whether i am up to this job or not. Its like i am all alone in this big company and its kinda first time for me to experience this things. All my previous job were like slack around and not much need to have any contact with anyone.

This is different. I will probably stuck with a team of serious people that do serious stuff and will be kept busy. I am not sure and really nervous about this job. I think maybe this is the experience that i need to overcome fear of mixing around. But this job is quite dead i guess. Just follow what they ask me to do and sit there or move around. Also it comes with quite gd pay and i got a direct way to the place and that's the most lovable about the job. Whatever i do, i guess i wont blow away my job cause i invest quite alot on it. Although the hour is long and constrain me to do alot of things, i will try to get used and plan neatly.

Guess i wont have much time to enjoy my holidays as this job grab hold my freedom till skool starts. It also grab hold of my chances meeting my gf which i am gonna miss her every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every night.

Anyway, weekends are the best time for rest and dating. I will really capture and spend them fruitfully.

Saturday.

I know i am late. I am really lazy. Its all i can say. Ok, then went down took bus go kallang. This time meet at dark dark bus stop. Spare those walking, GREAT. LOL. Then went down to vivocity. Its not as plan and we will kept doing this forever i guess. There are 2 things in our life that we will not able to eat, Tanjong Pagar Yong Tou Fu and Golden Mile Teriyaki Chicken. LOL. Always plan to eat that, we will head down to Kim Gary to try more dishes. And i can say Kim Gary gives great food but lousy services. Especially this aunty, always went there she wear a black face mask. Then she ordered veggie rice with chicken and i order nissin noodles with pork chop. I ordered a pork chop bun and a mango juice. I have discovered that no places can sell the best mango juice anymore. All like sucks. Ok, then very nice, ultra nice, all so nice.

After meal, we walk around, saw shop small two. There got lots of ways to prepare duck, more than the menu we saw at marina square. Then we walk and this dear always wanna find tommy. Dunno why. Then first time climb down the stairs then spy him. He's not there and we head down to see my clothes. Not much, all so so expensive. Then went over to marina square. Same old same old stuff we do at 97. Secret. Then go visit the food fair. Full of people and the food there not really that nice after all. Sway sway saw my cousin. Dont understand why she like to work in exhibition. Then walk 1 round we went to the game fair at the top level. Thanks dear, she so sweet to accompany me down and see and play the simpson game. Haha. Then went back to food fair as somebody stomach hungry le lor. LOL, ate her favourite shark fin soup and my big sausage and the not nice squid. Also buy the grass jelly and mango drink. All not nice at all, lousy food fair. Then went over to bought the tapioca chips. 1 for my dear and 2 for my parents. Quite cheap. Then went to marina sqaure see my clothes then went to suntec see my clothes. In the end went back to marina square G2000 to buy my clothes. Before that we went to arcade at suntec. We are so lousy in playing cooking master. Dont know what happen.

Somebody is hungry again. Then quickly take bus to geylang to enjoy an expensive frog porridge dinner. This dear so excited to eat it. Then went to G7, i wanna order more but this dear kept stopping me. In the end we only order frog, buy 2 give 1 and spicy kang kong. All so nice. This dear, give her eat also not happy. And her stomach is hoo hooo hooo.

But i still love her so much.

Love does grow during relationship. It grows and meanwhile we start to depend more to each other. Its good as we wont neglect each other when we are busy. We just going to miss each other so much that we always find time to meet. My dear is so cute when she just say she miss me so so much and cant see me often. I like the face and her innocent upset face. She also give me the strength to work hard, find job to feed her also i get to earn some money. If not, i will be staying at home cause i'll have enough to spend for myself.

I really love her so so much. I will miss her alot during my work. I'll always cherish every saturday as its the only day i can discover happiness and love together in this cute girl of mine.

I love you dear, i am sorry if i cant meet you always, i promise u i will find time for you and earn lots of money to give you good life.