So bored.

3 days in Hong Kong but technically is 1 day.

First lousy day.

Board plane about 11 reach there bout 3. Spend a long ride tooking the airport express. Then another long ride in mtr (mrt in hong kong) to the hotel. Still must walk a long way. Then reach the hotel, discover that my papa registered the name wrongly. He registered in his name but end up is my mama's. So stupid. Waste bout half an hour there. Every second is money. They free us a membership as the hotel is having maintenance like we have the time to use it. Check in, placed luggage and off we go. Went over to Tsim Sha Tui cut my hair. Cant find my regular shop. So went to a new one. So full with people. And they kept talking to me in cantonese, i dont even know how to answer them. So i just kept saying "sorry i dont understand you" and they all like "hong kong people still dont know how to speak". My papa was getting his hair cut too and my hairdresser ask my papa why i dont know how to speak. My papa say i study at overseas. Stupid sia. Then later we went to eat what seafood. Waste of my time, totally throw into the sea. Went there eat crab, prawns, vegetables, la-la, scallops. If anybody love to eat chilli can forget bout it in hong kong, cus it cost money. 1 small plate think is 2bucks. There we waste a day. Went back to hotel, drink wine eat chocolate and poom, sleep.

Second tired day.

8am, parents wake me up. Prepared and when to eat the 'free' buffet. Oh, so not worth it. They give us the coupon for free as for the maintenance shit. But who cares bout that as most of the day we will be at outside. This buffet doesnt have much food. Pastry, bread, bacon, fruit, porridge. I dont know whether it is buffet or not, as the variety is less than the quantity. Nobody is eating much over there. So we went to pray at the most famous Wang Tai Xian Temple. After that went to eat dim sum. Stupid mama kept say wanna eat steam rice, then ask me to share with her. She only eat abit, rest i eat and it cover up my whole stomach. After that yes, went over to edison shop. Disappointment, no sales at all. Price starts from 200 sing dollars. Idiot, no wonder open at those mansion and there's totally nobody in the shop. Ok, then went over to other place to shop. Shop till my legs almost detached from my body. Went to a small cafe eat our lunch/dinner. I eat the wanton mee and it taste like crap. The taste is like prawn, fresh prawn taste. Like ee. Ok, then we continue to torture our legs. Then reach this pasar malam like place, they call it girls street. Bought my favourite smelly tofu. Not nice at all. My mama bought the pig intestine and its a cold dish and it taste so fresh. Still have the shit taste. So fuck, she eat a piece and ask me eat all. We walk and saw there's ppl selling roti prata. So odd and the stupid indian still speak cantonese. More slang than mine. Still we kept torturing our legs, i dont know why we hate them so much. Till a point that we discover our legs is try to break, we went to a steamboat restaurant and eat. That's all for the day. Oh ya, i bought the pineapple vodka over there. It taste so nice. Dont know they will be that nice.

Third Short Day.

So short that i find my hair is longer than the day. Wake up early in the morning, bout 7. Went straight to the airport, check in our luggage. We then went inside the airport to do last minute shopping. My mama still left 2000 HK dollars. idiot sia. Then went to buy a gold watch and kept say very nice. We went to eat the airport dim sum, fast game then quickly board the plane. Oh by the way, the lunch always serve ice cream. So fucking nice. and worth it. That's all. It's so short.

Yesterday.

Went to amk. Wow so nice sia, the hub. After that, it's shocking.

"i know, due to circumstances it's shorter than the third short day."

Nobody actually care bringing my problems away while others just bring problems to me. You are the only 1 that i love yet i discover that i am not worth more than your idol. Who the fuck should i turn to. I'm left alone with myself facing all the difficulties. It's ok, i'm lonely anyway and kind of get used. Anyway if i'm not that important, then you shouldn't tell me i'm irreplacable or make any promises.

As disappointment forms into tears
I return to my loney years

Maybe eugene tan is the guy that must suffer lots of problems, bullied, lonely, have nobody to dry his tears, sad. Anyway, what the hell. I've been living it till now. I'm immune.

Dear Answers,

can you answer me when will i have a normal and happy day?

I've been longing for that.



Disguise.

I put it on whenever i leave the house. Or i dont even have a house. Who can i lose my emotion to? Who will actually sit down listen to me n letting me flush out my emotion. Im not a problem free person, i am not a normal person either. I suffer bitterly in this family shit. Who's right who's wrong who's lying who's denying i dont even know. Quarrels fights cries what else i have not experience. I aint a happy go lucky person. I just pretend. Or i didnt. But who give a fuck anyway. I always joke i always laugh i always talk cock i always not serious but that just my 'outlook'. Inside me is cold and pessimistic. I think im growing alot more to pessimistic. Cause, when you look highly upon to a person, if they disappoint you, there's nothing you can hope for. I trust him, yet he make mistake over and over again. And i really hate her from not listening to my advice and make things uglier than before. What happens after that? Both will act busy, not eating and do alot of stupid shit. This time is more fucking worst. Came a pest. It totally add shit to the whole situation. Using her fucked up theory just going to make method worst. And i began to hate home, began to stay out as much as possible. There's nothing in the house i worth looking forward to. Everytime i step inside, i will start to hate my grandma first. Its automatic. follow on will be the quarrel that i hate to hear. Suddenly my life has begin to went down the hill. I am always treating my friend better i am always wrong i am always not attentive. And i am not. I have make alot of sacrifices. But you just never know and never feel that. Maybe nobody will satisfy in what i do. How i just i could at least get some praises cause i am those person that always look forward to it. SAD.

What should i do?
Who should i look for?
Who should be consoling me?