Future

Will I be successful?

Will I able to get rich?

Right now, I have no confident. It seems like I'm on my own. Nobody to turn to.

My parents just won't give me the money to study.

My grandma, I really can't bear to take anymore money from her. Firstly, I am not sure that if in future, I can ever provide her what she needs. Secondly, with her condition right now, she needs the money more than me and i shall not go further.

Myself? I'm sad to say I'm living with no savings. I'm always work as a temp and income is always lower than my spending. Well, I am not that great to get any Birseries or any government subsidies. I thought of bank loan but, there will be too big for an mouthful as there are so much commitments I have.

Who to help me? Who? Everyday I pray, pray for some miracles to happen. Sad to say I even thought of winning the lottery.

Sad Sad life.

I will CRY ALONE.

YOU WONT know.

Its good that way.

IM DEAD SAD & HEARTBROKEN.

HELP ME TAKE OUT THE KNIFE AND LET ME BLEED me DEATH.

ONLY death will take away the pain and make it numb.

Another sleepless night.

Another time right.

Another tired fight.

Another unhappy sight.

Another sorry plight.

Another day flight.

Another happiness might.

Another time bright.

BYE..

Nobody really concerns about me....

I'm unwanted, unknown, un-heard, un-spoken.

I have lots of things to say, I have lots of things to do. I have lots of thoughts to carry out. Nobody ever listen or give a fuck. I have no friends, to share my woes to share my success. Who should i spoke to when i have issues? When i need opinions, suggestions, who should i turn to? You? Every time the less i ask you the better, the less i bother you the better, the less i say the better, Opinion or suggestions? You will say you wouldn't know. How? I suppose to solve it myself suppose to handle things myself. Its fucking tough, anybody know that?

Why doesn't anybody take a look at me rather than judge me as what they think? I'm sick. I'm the doctor, i'm the medicine, i'm the nurse that ease the pain. Nobody will even take a look at me and say "What happen to you?" "let me solve it for you".

Suck it up, take it or leave it, that's life, shut up and carry on. YES, this is my story, my life. Puppet show everybody. What you wish i will be, I will die trying. Its ok, i should like it. Nope its ok, I should enjoy it. I tell you i'm ok, I'm able to do it.


I need an audience that will listen to my performance (S>A>D).







* {MR SANDMAN BRING ME A DREAM} *

ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZ

Another Sleepless Night.



HATE IT. WHEN CAN THIS STOP. EVERYTIME THERE IS SOMETHING I NEED TO DO OR IMPORTANT THIS COMES OUT. ANYBODY EVER EVER THINK OF ME AND CARE BOUT WHAT I DOING?



I CANT SLEEP. OFF TO PLAY BLACK SHOT TO SHOT SOMEONE TO EASE MY PAIN. I AM DAMN SAD AND ALONE.

NOBODY WILL CARE NOBODY WILL EVEN BOTHER ABOUT WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH. IM TIRED MY HEADACHE HAS WORSEN. I HAVE NEVER SLEEP ENOUGH FOR THIS COMING 2 WEEKS. THANKS BOSS.

I NEED TO DIE.

Happy 2011.

I'm not happy at all as for today.

My first lied in 2011. I can't sleep at all. I watching youtube on all the music videos. I'm feeling damn bad. nobody actually understand or do anything. Thought i can have a early rest and sleep to have a sweet long dream.

Sometimes, things that you wished damn bad for will always not come true.

Crying does not help.
Still sad is all i Felt.
Slowly sadness melts
and swallow my whole self.


I AM SAD. WHO KNOWS?