Good bye 2006.

Hais, super sway tio evicted. First time in my life i got this kind of shit. sad.

SO whatever. i did have a great time ytd. hahaha, chilling out with friends is quite a nice thing to pass time. oh man, its going to reach 2007. i feel old and i can just start to countdown my birthday.

Night at the museum is a best show i ever watch. oh man, its so funny and everything is so what the hell. hahaha. its a gd show, its worth the money as you might think, what the hell, comedy for 6.50 at least. its fresh, as the idea is nv see it before. as i really die die must watch. hahaha..


my new year resolution.

Study hard.
Earn money or save money.
Last and the most important thing: Slim down.

oh, still always be happy for the 2 of us. hahaha..

life can be good
life can be bad
happiness cant depend by mood
but depend by mind set.

I am Troubled. I really dont know what she wants. i really had enough. i did follow advice, i did what i should, why she still have to treat me like this. hais.

I waited for so many days, finally she's back home. but the first thing she said was going for her class bbq. What the fuck rite? who wont feel fuck when something happen like this. seriously this really makes me sad rather than fuck. Nvm, i did what i did, i didnt hide the pain i did voice it out. but its not like i saying this to let u say to meet me rather than going. but is just to let u know. why must i always need to spell it out for u then u know. in fact i already no mood to go out at all since what u said at first. ok, then i already give in. what she want i do. and i just went to the party, is tt wrong? i mean, there's nothing rite, what's wrong. she say me its ok, i take it already.

then i just joke this guy that guy, and what happens, she angry me. why? cause she had enough of anger at home then she nv told me i wont cast tis joke rite? then call me small gas ghost. what the fuck i did? she should tell me problems what, aint couples should be open to each other. i already did my part, where's hers? then talk bout nasty things. then what you do to pamper me? its been already so long, have you really take a photo with me? always fren say this u do, sounds familiar? ya rite, u say me before but now who's doing it? i really work hard now, for who? for myself? for my family? not even a cent. rite now i only spend 11.50 for 4 fucking days. and y cant i survive without work. but no, i still have to feed her. so how to i get extra cash? work of course. and what i get, quarrel. i already suffer lots of shit in job, i take it bitterly. but why u still treat me like this? why? what happen to this relationship.

what past is in the past. right now, my heart belongs to you. if you wanna dig it out to prove what i said, then go ahead. i wont fudge. i only ask for friendship, i hope you understand. everything else, i only love you. i being honest, i never even lie. isnt being this is a criteria of a perfect guy? i am so tired. i trust u but can u trust me?

it easier to said then done
it easier to cry then smile
it easier to believe then explain

i just want you to be with me at least im asking for this lifetime,
i love you lim mei wern forever and ever 1 and only dear.
be my love?

oh man,

now people are talking bout policy about investment about money. savings, what the hell.. since when did this word cross my mind. i spend all i get. i always think that money can always earn back, so i should spend on what i think its rite and reward myself. but now i see myself reaching 21 and someone wake me up by saying "hey where's your saving?" thanks for the advice you gave me and i really need to plan. my ah bei also rushing me to get a joint account, so i must have some money in it or else pai seh sia.. wahahaha.. also another gd advice i mus be grateful i have to change my "si lang kuan" as in bad habit in hokkien, i fond of saying tt. hahaha. always make people frustrated to be with me. ah, must change. there r so much things i need to change and i really need to change my belly la. 1 or more years to army, my belly still look like a punching bag, so pai seh everytime i sit down. wahhahaha, ok, come my self-discipline, i must really work hard.

i hope i could work my ass off right now, what stress what difficulty i must fight them. fight them all. i am king of the kings, this kind of small things wont hurt me. "self-hypnotise, dont care me" anyway, survive in this reality world, needs money. so i must tolerate and pressure is success. something like what "ya li is tui dong li". then heard my mama job sucks, no double pay during holiday, boo. somemore dont know why mamas love to hao lian bout son's results saying her collegue son got 6pts in 'n' lvl. LOL. my mama ask me how much i get i say 6 and i feel bit pai seh cus i see 3pts in my skool last time. hahaha.

sian. this stupid job i really have to bite my teeth and survive another 6 days. i hope i will step up alittle and be pro-active.

cheer me up.
smack the problems away.

ah bei coming home soon, yippie.
i miss you so so much.

work is so tough everytime.

now they said christmas eve must finish at 1.. i not sure if its 1am or pm, i hope is pm if 1am then is damn shit.. hais, i really dont like the job but everything is for money.. looking on all the things i like, i have to think twice cus i have 1 more mouth to feed.. who ask guys have to be the breadwinner of the family..

All American Rejects- It Ends Tonight [nice song]

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can’t explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don’t want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can’t explain what you can’t explain.
You're finding things that you didn’t know
I look at you with such distain

The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this eveningI give the final blow.

[Chorus]When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I’m on my own side
It’s better than being on your side
It’s my fault when you're blind
It’s better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you’re the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends when darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Tonight, Insight
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

who would
kiss me in the forehead and say i will succeed.
hug me tightly saying i will pamper you.
make me smile in the things she will do.
listen to my problems and tell me i can fix it.
hold my hands and look at me as if im protected.

how i wish someone i love will do that.
lost alone in this cruel world.

Now's actually 17/12/'06 at 2.12am.
couldnt sleep, dont know why.

16/12/'06

The darkest date of my life. It's terrible.

At first went to work without having breakfast nor lunch. Its ok, dun feel much of anything. reach there, first thing piss me off after knowing that im just a substitute. i hate the feeling of being it. nvm, everything still went well on work. This 2 aunties are sister and they treat me drink wine. ok, nice experience. oh, by the way im working as a heineken promoter. which is sucks actually.. after dinner was different.. first, quarrel with meiwern, then start to get worst which turns out to get lectured by the officer. saying im not pro-active nore enthusiam or whatever. i just not sure why i dont have any energy to work on the day itself. then quarrel with the lazy giant staff. childish old man, hope he snaps his old bones 1 day for bullying me. nearly lost my pass which will cost me 30bucks, and luckily good people do get some reward as i found it later on at my counter.

she's going off to malaysia. i aint happy at all. im hurt. im sad. depressed. nobody to talk to now. cry all the way to home. long ride, full of tears.

Hais, just for 1hr $6.50. i have to suffer more than the salary. what kind of fucked up job anyway. but i need it. its hard earned money. seriously.. i stand for so long hours, 12-9 and have to absorb angers.. how i wish i could quit the job. but really cant. im broke, my savings are depleting. my expenses is getting larger and bigger. what can i say, i got a girlfriend and i am not rich nor poor. but my pocket money is really just enough for myself, though i had quit smoking, but the 10bucks is still gone.. i just dont understand why she doing things to me sometimes.

i work really damn hard. its not for myself, but for her. why cant she pamper me for the sufferings i had. i dont like to work, but i have to feed her. now, i have to meet her everyday. every single day during school. once meet her, spend money. its not then i dont wanna meet her is i just wanna save some money to buy my bus concession.. its 52bucks and i have to fucking pay myself. and its not im a spendthrift, i always schrimp and safe just for her and to give her good food. if not, she will compare me with this and that and complain. im really tired of the job, i really wanna quit but what can i do? but the biggest problem is why she doesnt wanna pamper me. doesnt i should at least get a reward or something? hais, its sadenning to find out everything you do is a must for someone else.

sometimes she can do whatever she like but i cant. its so unreasonable and unfair. i feel sad. if she make me angry she will say forget and move on. just like today, she told me that time is limited and not to sad. she going to malaysia and i must be happy so she wont feel xing ku(pain). what a stupid excuse. i totally feel so sad. its like everything is you and where's me? do i actually belong or visible to you? hais. sad. somemore always give me stupid excuse at things she do. i just cant take it and get frustrated therefore things start to get worst.


i am sad. so sad.
drown and drunk myself.
i still got so much pain inside but i guess i still have to work my ass off tmr.
its late, 2.26am.
good nite.

This time i letting all come out.

This time i stand up and shout.

I do things my way,

its my way all the highway.

Its so fucked up to have those things that i ask for a million times and i dont get one. And others just ask for it and get it straight away. what the fuck are you people thinking. Isnt the one that is pursuing gets the motherfucking priority? or does you have any fucking sympathy on my consistent and just grant my wish. but no, what the fuck you do just insert me with a fucking excuse that now fuck my whole mood up. you fuck me again. constant fucking me towards the next year. what the fuck i do to have this fucked up things attached to my life. everyday i kept fighting with fucks that tearing up my mood, my life, myself. i had enough fucks for today for this week, for this month, for this fucking year. oh, what the fuck. i fuck care everything now. its fucking makes me numb. what i ever i ask for, fuck it. i dont even need a fuck anymore. why am i such a fuck mood now, i dont know i dont know what the fuck happen to you. why you doing this to fuck me again. im fucking tired. so fucking tired. im pushing to the edge of the fucking cliff. push me fucking down and just let me die.

hey, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Friday,

stuck home, singing along with my limp bizkit tracks man. awesome band.

heavy rain. wash away my mood of the day. everything went quite well in the morning. never late for my class, people offer to do projects with me. not bad actually. then no teacher for my make up test that my fren was saying. went to library with kahmeng and watch soccer. met william and went to grandlink. play for sometime then went to bugis discover shit has injected to my life. ok, i heard wrongly the interview place was at shaw tower or the person just dint talk properly at all. then another poor communication with mei wern that went hay wired. and everything else i just keep it to myself. no use or there's no need to say it out.



sometimes i ask myself. what's better, to care or fuck care? fuck care is of course better as in no quarrel and will be happier. but tis will make me prepare for her to leave me and will only get used to life without love. to care, there will be quarrel and each of us just wont be happy. dont ask me to balance or what, i just cant. it wasnt my decision of letting you go, it was your decision all along. but i will know what to do and wont put you in difficult spot. and as for me, i just feel that less quarrel will be better and to see you happy, i do anything. people say i should go with you and things will happen, although i have the same view but i always lie to myself its going to be alrite. and if i go maybe there will be constrict and wont be a enjoyable experience for you. so lets do what we should do. and its not the trust or anything, guys are cb, i just know, you said its gonna be alrite, but i know it sure will come up with somethings. maybe i have not been there before but i just know. but whatever, since you already went and i'm already sad, lets just slot this file into the back of my head.

i hide the feelings to prevent us from quarelling.

so i on my way,
i leave today,
if i get away,
it'll be ok.

trust isnt the way to love,
its a excuse for freedom.

you dress to kill,
would you love me still?

today..

its not a very nice thursday.. morning wake up feel good, go pang sai and study for quiz.. pang sai while study quiz works.. then went online and discover things i shouldnt.. sad myself and play neopets and lastknights.. its so fun.. LOL..

went to skool, forget to bring my 50bucks, forget my timetable.. dun even know where is my lecture hall for my quiz.. but i alight the bus saw jeffrey and jun hao.. and then jason.. LOl.. eh so heng la.. after that it was a easy quiz sia.. so easy.. woohoo.. then skip lecture go edit my blog.. skip lunch too.. then this sony ericsson is so lousy the batt.. the phone auto shut down sia.. ok, then meet dear.. abit sad, then later on sad.. dear, dun leave me alone ok? i need u so so much dear.. dun walk away and just cling on to me every single second ok? i love you so so much..

i love you forever and ever 1 and only meiwern in my heart.

Finally,

To: SBS Transit company.
Regarding: The buses you provide is damn limited.

Sir/Madam,

i trying to keep my cool now as i preventing some vulgarities in tis feedback thing in my blog. i was taking bus 34 on this monday at about 7.40am.. normally i am very accurate about the frequent of the bus coming to my stop at punggol before the TPE. i predict that it will came about 7.45am like IT ALWAYS DO but then it didn't went what i expected. i not sure what the bus driver was trying to do but it totally make me eat alot of sh*t that day.

it came around 8, motherf*cking 8am you understand? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8am. my class start at 8am and it came at 8am. and if it come at 7.45 i maybe late only awhile for my class. and i have test some more you understand? you know, it late and it cause alot of people taking the bus. MIND YOU I AM NOT FAT LIKE MOSES LIM OR SOME FAT BOY FROM THE TAF CLUB, i couldn't squeeze into the bus. damn sad you understand?

So i still have to console myself and say "never mind here comes bus 3 still got space to sit down." but i was super duper wrong. i reach pasir ris where i could take bus 15 to school as i am studying at TEMASEK POLY if you were wondering.. it pack with f*cking lot of people. the bus just happily drive pass the bus stop and all the students at the bus stop just open their mouth wide and say What the F*ck. do you know we will be late and mark absent? and now the debarment has change you understand? i know you wont even care, just wanna earn money and profit right? always increase the bus fare to have profit right? can you use abit of the profit to increase the number of bus? its so limited that my hair on my head wins the number of your bus. please spare a thought for us student from temasek poly.

today, i waited for 2 motherf*cking hours for your lousy bus 34. can you explain why this has happen? is it your bus driver eatting snake? or they are stuck at airport waiting for their relatives to reach singapore? or they also went to the new ikea to get the free goodies and take balloon from my girl friend's friend? what were you all thinking. i can even chase my girl friend to the bus stop at another side and bus 34 haven't even came. i can take 69 and see millions of 69 passes me and 34 still haven't even came.. you make me and my girl friend relationship to have problems then we quarrel. and make us so late home and her family call her you understand? for me, i totally miss my "ye man nai nai", if you dont understand means you dont have scv. cause you only have tv mobile. but that's ok but you just screw up our plan to ikea. who you are actually? courts supporter is it? dont want us to go ikea and let them earn money?

so you can see the problem of limited bus on peak hours. i hope you can fix the problem as fast as you could and i wont have to complain again anymore. and i never register for the what vivocity vouchers and bid for them. so you cant threaten me. i really hope you understand the difficulty students have been facing due to transportation. and strangely to say, ONLY SBS bus have this kind of problem. please, dont force us support the yellow buses. we will if you wont take action on it.

if you visit my blog and see this.
thank you..

for those people that support me,
tag me and thanks for your support.

its been long since i last update tis blog..

sadness is an estacy for my blogging..

i dunno what happen.. it jus happen like a blink of an eye.. words flow into my ears, analyse by my brain, cut thru my heart.. its been long since i ever sad like tis.. or should i say i nv have tis experience for my life.. perhaps its a wake up call, but it must be a hurtful one.. guess i always act like a kid hoping u to give a pat on my head although i did wrong.. i know i did wrong, i did apologize, but i jus dun understand y u will act tis way.. maybe im always seem to push u to the limit of ur anger..

things jus suddenly change.. things that she do before tis seems different now.. like she wont say she need to go and msg me later, even she did say before, it seems ok last time.. but now, i feel some kind of im unwanted.. im jus confused.. what she said did it really came out from her heart.. if it is, what about the relationship.. will it end soon? or maybe her love for me will fade away..

hais, sad..
hope i can be better,
but now im crying like a child..

Is it voice out important?

i feel so disappointed. i dont know why. why am i such a worthless guy in your eyes? havent i did enough for you to be satisfied? how much mountain should i climb, how much ocean should i cross so i could earn a praise from you? if sacrifice have to say it out, it wont be sincere no more. it just will appear as you are asking something back. i keep it to myself but what i dont know its by doing this i've making myself look like a failure. how should i prove my love for you is genuine? love i give is pure? how much i adore you is real? how much i dote you is from my heart? how much i sacrifice is true?

Failure is just like my surname, it seems follows me everywhere i go, everything i do, every word i speak. i just cant believe how many people i seems to be disappointed by me. if i just did badly, give me sometime to work hard. i dont scared of failure, i just scared you wont give me chances.

I dont want to polish my sadness with tears, why should it ended up like that? i want to enjoy my life with you, just lay back from a urban life and relax with you. life shouldnt be stressful with you. there's shouldnt be any limit with you. just like my love doesnt stop and last forever n ever.

i hope you understand.

-..- love -.-

been so busy everyday.. ah, fucking haze.. Pui..

nv feel my course can bring me to such a great place to work.. Singapore Land Authority, Temasek Tower, Tanjong Pagar.. WOW, such a Grand Life.. sea view, easy work, slack, slack and more slack.. the shit thing is only a table that is jus big enough for me and william.. no computer, no telephone.. but there's tis aunty bought breakfast for us most of the time.. basically, i'm going to site inspection, jus see security guard is present at those vacant building then write down on the checklist.. then copy some dates, then go home.. sometimes stay at office doing paper work.. a 8.30am to 6pm job, come late to work go home early.. ah, great life..

so busy busy busy, spending time with gf is so limited not saying friends.. ah, where are they.. tommy still haven see him for days, or even years.. Wee, jus saw him at last month.. LOL.. where's the time i can enjoy? this job make me exchange all the holidays i have..

jus pass a year with my dear, its so fast so quick jus like a blink of an eye.. nv celebrate much nv have much luck, got caught by her mama, worst thing is her brother, ahh.. its getting more complicated.. but then jus let nature take its cause.. cant do much anyway.. woo, first time going a tattoo shop, watching her er sao tattoo.. nth much..

now r so cancer trend.. my ah ma down with cancer, but hopeless, jus have to go for treatment every now n then.. then, my uncle, down with cancer, finish operation, cant go work, family in trouble.. but my cousin still stays so cool.. hate them last time, but i dunno wat feeling should i have now..

anyway, life's come n go,
u may live today, u r gone tmr..

wat the hell,
j
us live n enjoy it..
kill the feeling of wasted, n kiss the person you misses..

-0- *life is boring..

ah, life..

are we living our life like its used to it? sometimes, when it disappear for awhile, u find it empty in ur life somehow or rather.. its strange, u dont feel it till the day you lost it..

i shouldnt be putting my past into present and live on.. what's done is done, it would jus be a memory for me to look at and laugh and learn not to do stupid things again.. experience is always a stepping stone to success..

Things change, Life change.. chat with tommy and find out me and him also change, our friends changing too.. wee change too.. its been long since i ever see them.. chat with them, find out what i've been missing.. i've been busy for my life, my wonderful life with my wonderful gf.. everything starts to taking its place.. going to 1 year and tt means no more smoking.. tough tough tough, but still have to work hard on it.. or i already done it? still feel the pain but what's love when there's no sacrifice..

anyway, tis is a change.. and tommy, tis cb change to a lan jiao.. tis means, he will start to talk bout girls already.. last time, he everytime say girls r boring and say tis chio he will eh, ok la.. now say wat no girls, is boring.. wee, wow.. clubbing king.. maybe this is his life he been searching for.. for other ppl that change, i dunno.. haven seen them.. and leslie, change to playing dota.. dunno y, heard from tommy he's pro.. LOl.. so many changes, how i wish i could stop and observe my friends..

anyway, what a lousy post im doing now.. jus to keep my blog still running.. LOl..

Friday 11/08/2005

It's a adventurous day and tiring outing. wahahahaha.. but its all worth it cus i nv have such a great time with lim meiwern..

morning was shit, go skool late, cus i da bian so long.. then run to bus stop thinking im quite a gd runner and run to the bus stop.. haven even reach the half of the long strench road, the bus jus zoom pass.. i try to be optimistic n make myself thinking tt's not my bus, but happy thots disappear when i reach the bus stop.. less ppl = bus 34 gone.. ok.. wait for another.. then came.. try to plan a gd route to skool so i risk my feet to climb up a sickening overhead bridge to take 69.. wow, lucky me, the bus came quite fast.. then reach opposite the engine bus stop.. wanna cross the road then hesitate when saw the gay guard.. ok, act a seh climb the stairs..

then reach outside the 33-1 lab.. no ppl.. wow, then go up no ppl.. wow, then came down, no ppl.. OK, go breadboard.. bought a drink then walk to the lab again, ok no ppl.. give up.. go home.. anyway, i seeing a doc for my lousy stomach so i would probably get a mc.. then i call up shun qiang say no need come, i see no one.. so he was late n when i went over to the opposite bus stop, he fucking call me n said "hey you lab leh.. wo zai eaudit lab li mian.. pua hong aik chi dao.. kuai dian lai, hai mei you mark attendance.." ok, so an angel flash my mind say, "go la.. last lesson, go do n its worth 10 marks.." then the devil said, "knn la.. u already going to see a doc n get mc.. wat for u go.." jus then i got a message and this meiwern, still at home.. so i go there then realise the angel cheat me.. nobody was there, i know the took a lift up, but i pai seh go up.. so i went home with a tired feet and a sweaty body..

this doc is so funny.. our conversation :
doc "what's ur name?"
me "eugene"
doc"what's the problem?"
me"stomach hmm, ache"(cus i dunno is it stomach ache or gastric pain)
doc"ok, go lie down there. how old are you?"
me"about 19"
doc"19 say 19 la.. or u is 19 about 20?"
me"act young ma"
doc"what course u studying"
me"ibt, intelligent building technology"
doc"what's all about?"
me"like facility management"
doc"nowadays course name are so fanciful. is it about real estate?"
me (cb, real estate like those agent, damn xia sway)"no like planning facility"
doc"is it? r u sure? u know what u studying ma?
me(fuck, he know about the course)"aiya mus depend on wat u going to further on ur studies"

i dun wish to carry on, cus its about my sick.. nth more or less.. and its like taking half of my page sia.. what the hell.. and my friday its not really bout this.. ok, go buy nissin seafood noodles and paus then just nice my dear came.. when home, gan chiong bout her quan ming.. LOL.. watch, chill then she jus kept repeating, "ka kin dan poh".

went to orchard, wisma first.. thot seeing ripcurl shop but tio pian is a surfer girl shopt with lots of other names like surfer board.. LOL.. ok, we kinda lost our way to taka.. LOL.. finally at takashimaya.. make some fren, then act japanese, then tis dear always bring me to dead end.. touch ham, cus the girl seems to be so happy when she buy ham.. saw different kinds of hotdogs.. then buy 1 sweet only but choose from all the packets.. really is dunno how to say.. bought her fav panda biscuit, sweet too.. then went to see what else can buy.. i wanna eat the ke le ping, then like dun have le sia.. ok, went to buy bubble tea.. strawberry milk tea with nate de coco is nice n not gay ok? then walk to see her "cybershot" phone.. LOL.. 3.2 megapixel.. i think can shoot porn no lag damn clear.. ok, the seafood dumplings is nice.. should try.. i give it a thumbs up and its worth queue up for.. then short is short, no matter how u try, u no need to dodge de.. LOL.. stand outside hippo to watch ghost game.. then saw a girl really like u lor dear.. then got ppl smile at me.. go 7 eleven to discuss bout food.. then see the baby very fun.. went over to ps.. on the way, i heard stories like a million times going "wo geng liling zai na li jia zhuang da golf.. hou mian hao xiang you ren zai kan.." wah, i hope the traffic light will always be red then we will jus cross the road without hearing tis stories.. ok, walk the pebble pathway like come nougat or nougaut..

then walk to carrefour then the body shop smell so nice sia.. stop there smell, then nv realise we are outside la senza, a lingerie, longerie, lungerie, langerie shop.. LOl.. then carrefour find the biscuit then they nv sell, went to see ribena, then she like nougaut then wanna try the food, touch beef, got a girl kpkb say seafood is cheap, went to see the fish tt can stand, saw sausage roll, and show me her fav squid n i show her the mini octopus.. walk to the cake there.. then go forzen food, very cold.. then "eor" LOl.. somebody hao lian while outside ps.. when over to the new cathy.. really so new that no shop can go.. went adidas shop, nth much.. go back to ps took 36.. reach city hall.. jus nice tiffany & co. pack with lots of ppl in city link.. saw a fat girl, saw her again, saw here once more, really can make fren, n her bf is really quite skinny.. then really pack with ppl la.. then walk to esplanade then hungry leh.. go back to marina square.. tot of buy food from 7 eleven..

regret nv eat first.. everywhere every restaurant is packed, full house, no seats.. she bring me to a alien place that we r lost.. LOL.. saw hans, now then i know hans is snatch seats.. so not civilised.. then call fang yi buy nuggets.. went over to the millions stairs there to rest our tiring feet.. then meet them at dxo.. went over to esplanade, walk walk walk, choose choose, pick a spot and stand there eat our nuggets.. ok, lots of ppl pushing n squeezing.. then sian, very cramp.. cyclist are idiots that mus slap to wake up cus its full of ppl n u still wanna cycle.. then i dunno y, when the fireworks starts, the crowd disappear.. fuck the tree, block the views, cant see clearly.. then very nice.. so nice.. wow.. really worth it.. then goon doo goon doo, take escalator down then realise going to clarke quay.. wait till the whole popluation of singapore at esplanade to clear.. so funny, we jus discuss bout taking photo, someone ask me to take a photo for them.. i kinda shake a little, i dunno y.. then they like quite disappointed leh.. LOL.. im sorry, i just too tired.. then the lift hor, kns.. so packed always.. then this idiot, wanna slap his face then he will press the lift button leh.. then b1 is pack so go b2.. then one of the lift is at maintenance.. another one, lucky can get in.. b1 saw the another fat n skinny couple again then i think they learn our tactic.. hahaha.. so many tis kind of couple.. ok, kay poh walk here n there, then miss bus.. but gd miss cus we shouldnt take it..

walk to clarke quay, smell beer, wink, walk to the underpass.. then very dangerous of crossing the road.. then reach a bus stop.. ok, a very funny thing happen.. i saw bus 12.. i flag at the bus, then the bus driver nv care bout me.. then i knock the bus door, and the driver wave "no".. then kinda strange, y no.. then nv care.. then we walk back.. see still got wat bus, then the bus stop dont have bus 12.. hahahaha.. fucking pai seh sia.. ok, walk a long way to another bus stop.. english chatting today.. then took bus 80.. sit down there, saw xin peh i think its like tt spell n stella.. so fated, then saw fangyi.. ok, its really fated.. then send her home then i took a fast train home..

what a tiring day.. 7-4, owe u 1 chicken cutlet rice..
what a great day out with my dearest meiwern..
stick with u.. mwaks..

This Month Is Bad For Me.

Especially Today. I feel like shit and I am losing my mind now.

I am sick in the bed. early skool do project reply late i am sorry kp by a 1 idiot ah pek and now

I feel that i am such a fucker myself so i called up and apologize and say go but then realise what a fool i am.

OH, THIS IS THE BEST DAY I EVER HAVE IN MY WHOLE LIFE.

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY.

I AM BLEEDING. CAN YOU SEE?

SeiL are so common in life. Damn Right.

Life's,
fucked up..

seriously fucked up.. especially friday.. oh, just fucked up.. firstly, william wake me up from a great sleep, OK fucked up.. Meet at 11.30, i late then william more late, OK fucked up.. go bcs free access lab and see so full, OK fucked up.. i dunno what happen to my project that save in my diskette just gone, OK fucked up.. dunno how to do ask yufen dunno how to do a guy explain some alien language i dun seem to know but he kept make mistake along the way kinda waste my time, OK fucked up.. saw william friend, kept talking non stop like a fucking asshole, OK fucked up.. he kept kp me and i feel like slapping him but its william friend, OK fucked up.. do project do till swee swee, com turn off on its home, OK fucked up.. do again till swee swee, then wrong then the computer cant work, OK MAJOR fucked up.. then nv do anything in skool, technically, came to skool for nth, OK DAMN fucked up..

im sorry i cant control my emotion, cause the day to be bad.. im sorry dear..

click was cool n nice.. wah, die die must try..

i love u my dear, forever n ever babe..

saturday..

not enough sleep.. kept study psychology till my mind is full of theories.. and then i just forget it.. what the hell.. went to skool and then know the paper is "its ok, can pass" type.. ok, wasted la.. stay in skool for a hour jus to decide where to go.. finally pull william to selegie.. ok, fun day.. long time nv meet frens out, its quite nice.. then sit the long bus ride at 65.. my butt almost glue to the sit and i have to peel my butt of the sit.. god.. then eat wat cripsy wonton mee by tommy intro.. taste like shit jus go fry.. knn.. then dota dota dota till kahmeng not working.. whahahahaha, what a joke.. he going to work de sia, then say 6 go, then later on he hook and not going.. OMG la dota.. it can ruin a person life.. just like tommy, guobin, maybe kahmeng? saw my sec frens, kengtoon n yibiao.. wow, they dint change and it was cool to see them again..

i dint wanna be so gan chiong bout u.. i jus purely worry.. im sorry if i being abit naggy, ok not abit, is alot.. but i just worry bout u.. i wont do it again anymore.. ok? sorry dear.. lets happy happy ok? mwaks..

whatever you want i will give you..
love you no matter what happens..

Coincidences..
Its this man made or the god just giving you a chance?

Why it is difficult for me to ever do it again? I disappointed in myself.. I'm sorry, sometimes the situation dont allow me to do that.. I numb myself with lots of ways yet the feeling of sad is still there.. I'm really sad, disappointed, its terrible.. Just let my tears wash away the pain.. and be a new happy eugene.. "cheer up eugene".

Suddenly there's tis danny poh that ask me sex chat with him.. wahahaha, its so funny.. it make me forget everything.. and tis xia lan woman at youtube, really so funny..

Life's no matter what you do, treat it as your last day, you may enjoy and treasure everything in this world..

lastly, happy birthday to stella.. best wishes for her wishes to came true..

and 10months anniversary for me and meiwern.. happy till ever after..

SNOW PATROL - CHASING CARS

We'll do it all
Everything On our own
We don't need Anything
Or anyone If I lay here

If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don't quite know

How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all

I can see I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

if life can be wat u want it to be, isnt tt great?

there's a story :

1 nite a disciple woke up from a dream and cry bitterly on his bed. his teacher was curious n ask him "y r u crying? is it a bad dream?". his disciple reply "no, its a good dream. but i cry because it will nv happen".

ok, 1st post using my own com..
yes, my monitor is fixed im back are u glad? im now listening to all those beautiful music and all are fresh.. yes, im a happiest guy in the world rite now but my dear is not online yet so its abit less than perfect..

ok, i would blog bout friday..

finish class at 9.30am.. first time so late then came out.. went for lecture n joke around.. went breadboard eat my breakfast.. eat wat chai fan.. yi li yi li pepper chicken, lan lan yu, n 1 thing i forget wat is it.. LOL.. went to access lab.. i haven even warm up my seat, my dear call me.. waste time logging in la.. LOL.. then went over to my house and then all the magic happens.. wahahahaha.. ok, then went to take bus, saw my mama and saw a stupid n crazy ite girl..

suntec, offically no photohunt.. i dunno y, and i dun wanna know.. play soccer, lOL.. i kept losing n i dunno y i still wanna play for.. then lose daytona again but tt's so outdated.. now is mario bros racing leh.. so fun sia.. next time i wanna bring another 2 person to play with us.. its so cool n so fun.. jus so fun sia.. wow.. ok eat fantastic then went home..

happy day jus being with my one n only dear..
i love you so much..

tis blog will not have the same fate as pavilion..

i forgot what i did on monday.. i think i dint do anything.. LOL..

To U's day (creative?)

meet dear at mosquito busstop.. then wanna go tanjong pagar eat.. wo de lao tian ye.. y i jus cant eat the stupid fried shark meat.. and y i seems to go orchard to walk around? let me step i also feel so happy.. ok, the cokes is badly shaked.. and the moment is like bomb.. then took cab home.. end up acting was on the tv.. tis dear, abit watch tis movie abit watch another.. so shan bian.. then we were gan chiong spider all the day.. and really the feeling of cui is bad.. haha..

Wet Nest Day

meet boys at skool.. do project.. PLAY SOME SPORTS.. wow, i burn lots of fats.. i feel light.. i kept buy water to drink and they say im crazy.. and they like me after i finish sports, cus i will be damn quiet and catching my breathe.. im jus too old.. but still young in everything.. bet soccer and win.. world cup is cheating my money.. boo..

Thirst Day

not thirsty at all but dear ask me drink more water so i listen.. then stay home did nth..

Fried Day

yes, i really get Fried.. dunno go where, everything's a mess.. then meet tommy, i play dota with some noobs at bnet.. and i play alone.. tommy watch and laugh at me.. play with his new flat phone.. like so flat can stuff it in ur ass.. ok, then went to tampines meet william.. talk n talk.. i whole day damn quiet as i am tired.. ok, went to mac, chat bout the twins.. so shocking and so pai seh.. watch soccer in mac, just find out tt we can actually catch live soccer matches in it.. then went home in a heavy rain..

Set the Day

Nv really set the day, as i late for the project meeting.. nobody bring textbk except me, i feel bit better as i really late like 1hr.. haven even start, wait for me came.. say do humour commercial as im a humourous guy.. i dunno y everybody seems to say im blur.. am i really blur? ok, so we really tried to finish the skit thing, i dunno can anot.. its like not really gd.. then late, meet dear also late.. my cripple leg jus cant walk properly.. went to buy food, really is sui bian.. then eat watch home.. tt's all..

life's is full of excitement with my dear..
i love u always.. always love to get gan chiong with u.. haha..

friday,

i woke up late.. stupid me, forget to change the tone of the alarm clock.. then the sound beep so soft, who can wake up leh.. ok, then somethings wake me up like the sun shine on my butt.. then found out shit im late.. ok, msg my dear say meet at 11.30am.. then rush all the way, then see my dear so hao lian say wat i haven wake up yet.. so boo lor.. then took a 10.45 bus.. lucky its chicken little then wont late.. hahahaha.. then got a big asshole.. i was watching the tv mobile then he come n sit infront of me.. fat bastard, i cant watch a fucking thing.. then he alight at a nearest busstop nvm, he alight at aljunied mrt startion lor.. then saw my dear nv late n pinch my stomach.. ok, went to tanjong pagar.. stupid la, the auntie lor, i tot she wanna board the bus then nv.. make us miss the busstop need to walk so far lor.. then sway lor dunno y the stall nv open.. i wanna eat the fried shark meat lor.. so nice lor.. its the best fried fish stall i ever eat.. yum yum.. then walk all the way to board bus to parkway.. wow, got alot of gu se gu xiang shops.. n i like the dim sum shop.. like quite nice.. ya la, i copy my dear say de.. then saw alot of silly names of ra movies.. then find out pearls centre dun have 197.. hahahaha, so stupid leh.. then 197 so many n so fast come leh..

ok reach parkway.. then alot of happening in the bus.. especially the bus is really cold.. then board down le then tis guy dunno forget wat thing he rush back up again.. i feel so skinny as he can still rush up when i standing at the stairs.. then went to parkway listen to my dear hao lian n she kept bully me.. n say wat very cold.. n suddenly she praise the bread talk smell so nice.. then 5 buns is just $5.. not 5 bread.. see ppl play yoyo so boring.. then walk here n there.. very hungry.. then cannot take it went to marina square eat her favourite fin fish n chips.. ok, very nice the fish n chips.. then eat eat eat.. the bread not nice.. ok, he nv give me my drink lor.. then eat n eat.. kept bully me, then talk alot.. then say she cannot go home late cannot cui.. hahahaha.. so quickly rush to play her daytona.. wah, then dunno y she again say cold.. MOST PRO DAYOTNA PLAYER IS LIM MEI WERN.. SHE SO PRO.. NOBODY CAN BEAT HER BUT SHE ONLY PRO IN BEGINNNER.. HAHAHAHAHA.. AND SHE QUITE PRO IN PUZZLE FIGHTER LEH.. LOL.. ok, im so pro in marvel vs capcom 2.. all thanks to my bro tommy ang chai hock.. wah, the girl girl really so nice to use lor.. so pro can.. hahahaha.. then beat the boss, look at the time really so late le.. then went to take bus then tis dear hao lian say she go malaysia ambessy do wat ic or passport.. then say she been tis bus stop be4.. took bus 80.. sit at the weird seats tt can see each other.. then she ask everybody to see her knee.. LOl.. then scared cui see her bro.. send her home, she nv cui and still luckily fast go home.. her bro jus wanna leave the house.. hahahaa..

wat a day..l

i missing u so much my baobei dear..
waiting for u..
mwaks mwaks..
always loving u..

monday,

meet william and friends went to seoul garden.. then quite fun.. then went to play arcarde.. then dota.. then home.. watch soccer but i just cant wake up at 3am.. why?

tuesday,

meet ah bei.. meet stella.. then went to compass point a warm mos.. nice light though.. then walk around.. watch a act seh guy play house of dead 4.. mus u use till 2 players? ok, then walk here n there.. then went to cold storage.. i cant find kiwi.. then cant find the panda biscuit.. then no sweets.. then got a person cut my queue.. when leaving the supermarket, 1 promoter tot i steal kiwi.. then went over to kovan.. not hot anymore.. very cold.. then went to arcarde.. WO DE LAO TIAN YE.. I WON LIM MEI WERN IN DAYTONA.. hahahahahhahaa.. so happy.. then i dunno how to play puzzle fighter.. then she got thrash by a stupid ugly guy.. then still ppl mus put her water.. ok, i lost every game after i won daytona.. hmm, then we went to kovan to shhh shhh.. then took 80.. wow, so fast sia..

wednesday,

meet ah bei.. then spend a wonderful day.. then suddenly so shocking happen.. then went to punggol park.. her wish came true but haven play the swing yet.. then ants bite.. then dragonfly n lizard r disgusting..

dear, i love u always..
mwaks mwaks..

it seems like all my friends are leaving me to army..
good luck have fun boys..

ok, today is a boring saturday.. nth to watch on tv leh..

yesterday which is saturday - one day = friday..

morning was cool.. well, afternoon kinda bad.. my mama bought zhu rou zhou.. then the zhou is not those zhou is those like rice add more water.. wah, taste like a disgusting water rice.. so disgusting lor.. and the more i eat the more i wanna slap the person sia.. so boo lor.. ok, went to skool.. cb william la, say wat dun wait for me go in first.. knn lor, so late then msg me meet 3pm, msg me at 2.30pm lor.. the bus already gone.. idiot.. then i saw him outside studying.. ok, nvm i talk to him awhile n come back, lots of girls crowd around him sia.. like a superstar.. LOl.. ok, then the paper got mcq question, im shocked.. then do n do.. quite difficult.. then i gan chiong, when at 4pm i see all my frens left the room.. so i quickly finish n go out.. ok they have nth to do after skool.. all go home including me..

ok, the nun is quite a boring show or the time is not rite.. hahaha.. ok, then have lots of fun and also have lots of hair drops on my floor tt belongs to my dearest bei.. ok, then went home.. same bus always.. LOl.. then dance at the mosquitoes bus stop.. hahaha.. ok, then took 31 to boon keng.. saw kfc, wanna go eat but feel like go boon keng settle dinner.. then took 147 to serangoon.. knn, no bus to kovan.. then nvm walk to another further bus stop n saw a number of bus i can take.. then took 153 then went to kovan n there nth to eat.. bo bian n due to my stupidity, i have to eat a mc spicy meal alone at the macdonalds.. shit.. ok, then walk to take 136.. all i can say is fuck the lao cb bus.. so long, then i saw 80 sia.. so noob lor me.. long time nv take bus, then dunno wat bus to where.. so i very tulan n took 82 n jus nice 62 was behind.. so i changed n got home like 11pm.. i wait for bus at 10 leh.. ok, watch world cup.. lousy costa rica, make me disappointed cus i kua sway germany..

saturday..
boring.. watch repeat match.. Germany 4-2 Costa Rica, Poland 0-2 Ecuador.. ok.. do tiring house work.. then now blog.. later play winning eleven.. ok.. tt's all.. and tis dear, so theif, always left the letter unknowingly on my table.. hahaha..

i love my dear only forever.
mwaks.

steal some time to blog and be a naughty boy.. haven really finish studying yet but very stress so thinking to blog..

Human being is always not satisfy with things or is jus expectation is too high? sometimes what i do that i may think i really give it all but you still will ask me to give abit more..

Just chat with wee today and heard he broke up with his fhm model.. kinda sad, he got ditched.. so now he doesnt believe in love anymore.. he ask me some questions which really give me a deep thought.. he said "u meet meiwern everyday.. u have changed.. arent u tired of her cus u everytime meet her? like tt feelings will fade.." maybe thats for his situation.. so i told him, im not tired.. maybe i have found the love of my life, so tt's y ppl get so shock that i so devoted.. and i answer him that my feeling for her wont fade cus i seems to love her more and more each day.. so he reply happy then gd.. hahaha, its seems like alot of ppl ask me tis kind of question.. maybe im really devoted or maybe she's jus has a dependent personality.. maybe tis is gd or maybe tis is bad.. whatever it is, my love for her wont change.. its jus bout compromise and accomodate..

who do not have past? we've mus not always judge ppl from their past or even get bother by their past..

and always chat with shu mei is in a lousy time.. i always the cold blanket and left early..

tt's all for today..

we lived for the future and learn from the past..

FIRST THING FIRST,

happy 8 months for me and meiwern..

SECONDLY,

im sorry stella.. please dun angry with us anymore and dont sad, if anything i can repay to u, i will..

ok.. so here the story starts..

i will not blog about the last last week or wat.. jus start with last week..

monday,

what i did was a mystery as i even forget what i did and same for tues, wed, thurs..

lets start with friday then..

ok, start skool at 8.. i still take my jolly' gd time styling my hair when its 7.20.. then talk to myself say, i can make it for 7.45 bus.. but then shit.. no bus.. i was worried tt i will late as i recall my tutor said tt today will have a site visit.. then i saw a cab drove towards my direction.. without even think, i immediately lift up my hand and flag it.. ok, the taxi driver was somehow like those lao beng.. then say highway always jam.. then i say something, he mus kp me.. he even kp me for dunno how to go tp.. he tot im a driver like him meh, im jus a future diploma student.. fuck him.. then talk bout world cup.. ok, then i quickly alight as having to spend even 1 second inside, it kills.. ok, tot i was very lucky the tutor haven start the visit, and yes, i was really very lucky.. the tutor spend almost 1 hour to go thru wat project sia.. wasted my cab fare.. i feel so dumb.. ok, not bad.. went over to the underground water holding area.. looks creepy.. then me and shun qiang was standing infront of the group.. then the fat indian man with red eyes on him looks like a fat cyclops in mud.. and he wear like going to hawai beach like tt.. ok, then we was the first one.. i actually scared u know.. so dark, then all water.. only a narrow path.. then i was thinking tt, tis time cui liao.. i'm the first one, then if i hesitate, ppl will laugh at me.. then i act a seh and walk like nth happen.. so scared u know.. then inside was like sauna, as hot as pussycat dolls.. hahahahaha.. after tt went to lecture.. the phua hong aik, really like me sia.. hahaha.. kept ask william where's me, as william kept tell him i fail maths.. then he come and ask me why i fail maths.. hahaha.. he so spy, come over to the lecture hall there spy who nv go sia.. LOL.. then we li siao those late comers.. we at there shout "swee la so late come" then they pai seh sia.. got 1 time damn funny.. the jason so late.. when he came in, i shouted "why so late?" then the whole lt ppl look at him sia.. then he gain all his energy to run for his life out of the lt room.. hahahahaha.. so funny sia.. ok, what was i saying? hmm, ok.. after lecture, when to eat.. eat already go do psycho quiz.. then tommy came, dj came, jia wei came, some ppl came, then we went to busstop, dj came jia wei came, some ppl came too.. then board bus 15.. i sit with william and left tommy alone.. hahaha, i feel so bad.. then i kept sleeping, the cb william kept wake me up.. knn.. then i practise my vocal chords.. then kept bluff tommy we alighting then he really believe.. ahhahahaa.. he so noob, he only been to parkway 1 time and its so long ago.. ok, then go kbox.. sing, shun qiang came, sing.. then shun qiang went home, me tommy william went to roxy square food court to eat.. knn cb william.. nv tell us the western food is long.. then the half spring chicken was great and full.. then go out have a heart to heart chat.. and really its nice.. and i notice tt how fucker am i.. ok, then went home bathe.. then force myself to watch wat san geng.. should be 3 ge gui gu shi lor.. stupid show.. then cant sleep tmr 2 pm then wake up.. meiwern came, eat play watch tv.. now tv is hers.. she ate so slow and little sia.. LOL.. then my mama see her like difficult.. hahaha.. i love u only hor dear? dun check tis and tt question me again hor? i love u only forever always.. then tis girl, always so late go home.. and tt's all for sat and friday.. hahahaha..

the word friend doesnt consist of any b cus friend shouldnt be betray..

dear, dont so late go home le hor..
mwaks mwaks..
i love u 1 and only..

its been so long for my winding stories for my blog.. here goes :

friday, day 1 of hong kong..

wake up freaking early in the morning.. then went to changi airport to check in.. so long queue so many ppl.. when i reach there then i notice tt i was boarding cathay pacific.. lousy shit plane.. so board tt plane.. sucks, it makes my ears pain when it lift up and land.. watch fun with dick n jane in the plane, wat a nice movie.. then alight at hk airport was my first battle.. luckily when i went to the toilet there's a free toilet.. then i saw NONO.. so shocked.. he with a girl and i afraid tt i would bother them n dint wanna take pics with him.. he so fat sia.. ok, so took mtr to somewhere then took some free shuttle bus to hotel.. after getting our room, again, its shopping.. eat dim sum at a opposite our hotel restaurant.. then went straight to sai kung.. over there bought a short and walk around.. there's like a jetty and have lots of seafood.. then saw how they sell the seafood on the boat.. then eat seafood at a restaurant.. was cost like a bomb.. ok then went to tsim sha shui.. i went to cut my hair and they shop around.. the barber still know me sia.. LOL.. so long, has been 1 year plus.. then went to mongkok.. shop again and bought a crispy chou dou fu.. then when to 7 eleven bought mineral water and free the key chain.. very nice and cute and special..

saturday, day 2 at hong kong..

wake up.. went to mongkok.. look for a restaurant nearly kill me.. walk so long and far.. then shop the night market.. well, its afternoon but still its call a night market.. then bought tis and tt.. went to bought other things.. then went over to tsim sha shui again.. search for a restaurant.. nearly kill me again and finally give up on finding the last time restaurant and try new one.. well, not bad the steamboat.. so went to shop again till my legs r breaking, its all my mama's idea.. then walk and walk and walk i eat another crispy chou dou fu and walk walk walk and finally went to kfc.. so nice lor their kfc.. then very nice..

sunday, day 3 at hong kong..
so stupid..

went to wat tian hou to change currency.. so stupid.. went so far then change at such a lousy rate.. then rain then hard to walk.. so stupidity kills.. then finally find the place my parents last change their currency at, then went back to hotel.. bought some dried scalops, then check out.. went to airport and i ate such a tasty curry pork rice.. and yes, im eating myself.. LOL.. ok, then went back home.. sad cant buy cigarettes.. then went home sleep for tmr lessons..

always so miss my dear dear.. i've been waiting everyday for monday.. but too bad.. and i dunno y i feel so disappointed.. maybe i too miss her..

all i can say is,

JUST BRING IT..

its my wishful thinking i know..

i was wrong i know..

i am sorry i hope u know..

i love you always please know..

mwaks mwaks..

so it was friday..

same old same old.. dota at pavillion.. i dunno y and i really dunno u do not wanna join me there.. kept giving some stupidest excuse i ever heard.. hais.. after that phone call im almost restless to play.. well, i start to lost all the mood and almost bang the whole com..

met her, got scolded hais.. friday is brother's day.. but u took over it and i cant spend time with my brothers.. what if i took over ur saturday? if u ask me y my brother cant go out tog on sat, y ur frens couldnt meet u on fri? hais.. i jus dunno how.. im troubled sometimes i just get fucked by them n fucked by my gf and kept get fucked makes my mood fucked up.. when can ppl jus compromise me..

ok, so we went to ps.. ok, walk here and there.. finally reached the arcarde at ps.. well, im a pro in marvel vs capcom 2.. i complete it with style.. hahahaha.. and im so pro tt i do not need to see my screen to play.. LOL.. powerstone was a nice game to play.. saw si liang and his stead.. then walk around.. again she know how to play alot of instrument.. went to times, finding wee's pei pei on fhm.. then walk walk walk, saw 2 suckers wanna ask us do survey.. she dun wanna give her personal info, then i talk to them they give up bugging her.. make us miss the bus then took a squeezy 36.. finally sit at the back, she bang to a girl but dun wanna say sorry, then wanna pickpocket a guy's bag.. LOL.. ok, then went to cold storage buy water.. then she thirsty wanna drink first.. LOL.. went off to arcarde play time crisis.. first time see a person so humjirou, hide the whole time then still can complete.. hahahahaha, how boo shit.. LOL.. then realise i got blisters.. went to mos chill eat chill then so pai seh.. really so funny and pai seh.. omg, dear.. pls do it secretly ok? hahahahaha.. omg u.. LOL lor.. ok, send her to the dark bus stop.. then tis 62 driver stop at the traffic junction cus its red light.. then he quickly ran to the toilet then came back.. the red light is so long tt he can came back and still wait for it to turn green.. hahaha.. went home watch tv sleep..

it may not be a good friday but it still a friday that im happy to spend with my dear..
mwaks mwaks..
only u and u i wanna spend my everyday with..
loving you lots dear..

what a nite and what a day..

this is really the second time i feel my heart was tear apart.. i feel like everything seems to feel the same way as the past.. i dunno y u have to say such a thing.. im devastated.. i nv ever tot u will say those disappointing words.. im upset, im down, im depressed.. my heart bleeds.. i dunno how can tis heal.. my scar has open up by u and i feel like its nv ever going to heal again.. help..

the promises that u made u nv even kept.. and yet u say i doubt u.. im hurt.. im really hurt.. and u doubt me and check my everything.. i jus wanna see ur phone.. ahhhhhh.. fucked up.. im crazy, mad.. i nv ever sad till tis way.. nv pick up my calls.. yet can call others.. hais.. i shall say nothing more.. i jus cry in silent and let sadness carry on attack my whole life.. i guess i nv can be happy anymore again.. it hunts me everytime and everyday.. im really hurt badly..

i feel so fucked.. "shit"
i hate myself..
i really feel that u r leaving me..
i love u but u really hurt me too much..
i cant get over it.. i just cant..
u r really the one i love.. i only wanna be with u 1314..
i guess im jus a failure in love..
im sorry..

im fallen ill.. my forehead can fry an egg.. :(
all sad jus fallen on me..

do u still love me?

so it was T U SDAY..

went to skool as per normal.. nth much.. skool life's still as bored as playing yo yo that only can roll up and down.. ok, then after skool went to meet my da mei ren.. LOL.. wat an idea to explore the route of 21.. ok so took it off smoothly then after that pass tis primary skool.. omg, it was so noisy till we all have to speak so loudly.. and this poor ah pek was trying his very best and squeeze his ears so close to the phone and shout at the top of his voice jus to communicate with the person.. LOL.. ok then we saw tis cute girl trying to chase the bus.. and it was quite a stupid idea cus the bus stop was a million miles away.. and she still grab all her might, holding on her heavy bag and run as fast as she could.. and after the bus jus pass to far from her, she finally give up with disappointment in her face.. LOL.. ok.. so then went home after such a exciting explore..

so WENT NER SDAY..

went to carona meet dear.. nice tasty chicken cutlet.. and i cant drink china apple le.. went to psychology tutorial.. then know dear's fren rebecca chan.. hahaha.. ok..

so THE SDAY..

meet dear at 11pm.. skip pmgt went to meet stella.. i went to do my things then they say stella call me i nv hear and walk to canteen.. she ask me sit there and if there's a person is watching me.. so stupid sia.. and so ugly lor.. then skip maths again cus i told u its limitation ok? then went to sim lim.. walk round the whole god damn building and found out that they really dun repair monitors.. how sucky.. then was so tired.. wanna eat mos burger then alot of ppl then went to eat won ton mee.. ok, i was hungry.. then feed her.. then went off to walk icon.. so stupid small building.. i bought a handphone cover, still free water and biscuit.. like going to picnic.. lOL.. then saw transexual ppl then dont wanna take lift with them but they kept going up and down.. we still mus peep.. LOL.. then so pai seh dun dare to press the button cus inside got ppl so humjirou my dear.. LOL.. ok then went to bugis.. she diao a person and still do her trademark laughter.. hahahaha.. funny hor? then play daytona.. so stupid.. i do wrong stunt.. ok, dun wish to talk bout it.. went to play basketball.. ahhhh, stupid.. finals then lost.. how sad.. then wanna play soccer then found out its late.. so we r exploring the whole bugis area to find the bus stop that has bus 23.. LOL.. then walk and walk and walk and walk till we reach little india.. then finally we board the bus cus the smell its unbearable.. ok, saw my fren then chill for a while.. a call from mindy came and ask where's my dear.. then another call from fangyi ask where is she.. then another stupid call came not going.. then was like -0- "stunt".. LOL.. then went to tampines.. i forget to tap the my ez-link cus trying to say wanna take the single deck bus ma.. then fall asleep, so nice to sleep with dear.. then reach le.. go ecp straight away.. play wei lian game then saw a retrench guy very sad.. then went to settle down.. play and play.. then went home.. we took our bus and she went home first.. ok.. thats all..

yesterday was FRY DAY..

went to meet william they all.. eat, lecture then go play dota.. so long nv play with them and obviously i thrash them.. then play cs.. then tommy and his fren and guobin came.. we play a real dota game.. they lost we won and so happy.. then went to kbox.. wanted to sing till our hearts out but siliang came and we have to get out to pei him.. and also i wanna pei my dear so chill with them first.. then my pretty cute dear came, so cute and nice to have her hair tie.. then walk with her to century square metro play toys.. then saw this crazy frog.. so stupid sia.. then she kept pressing all the crazy frog tummys.. then all so noisy.. then walk and scroll around.. im a kind person i know.. then walk and walk.. then wanna go that time she so brave, counter was beside the shelf and she was at there kept pressing the tummy's of crazy frog.. then heard a commercial but went there finish le.. but who am i? im a electrical pro.. so i let her see again.. hahahaha.. so nice hor dear? hahaha.. then see her off.. saw tammy's porn.. full version.. she board the bus and i call my frens they at tp sia.. shit.. then took cab to orchard then went to dota.. found cash took it and our expense r covered.. then so happy but the happiest is the time with dear..

mwaks mwaks..
so love my pcd dear..

skool sucks..
monday sucks..
class sucks..
subjects suck..
lectures suck..
tutors suck..

i wanna change my fucking retard life.. how?

i feel my wings have broken in your hands
i feel the words unspoken inside
when they pull you underand i would give you any thing you want, no
you were all i wanted
all my dreams are fallin' down
crawlin' round (and round and round)

somebody save me
let your warm hands break right through
somebody save me
i don't care how you do it
just stay, stay
come on
i've been waiting for you

i see the world has folded in your heart
i feel the waves crash down inside
and they pull me under
and i would give you anything you want
you're, you're all i wanted
all my dreams have fallen down
crawlin round (and round and round)
somebody save melet your warm hands break right through
somebody save me
i dont' care how you do it
just stay here with me
i've made this whole world shine for you
just stay, staycome oni'm still waiting for you

save me anyone? pls..

skool sucks..
monday sucks..
class sucks..
subjects suck..
lectures suck..
tutors suck..

i wanna change my fucking retard life.. how?

yesterday was tuesday, (who dunno? crap)

then wake up at 8.45am, but still wanna sleep and afraid will overslept so drag my lazy ass up and went to the sofa to lie till 9am.. then when to do the killing housework and went to get ready up.. oh as soon as i expected, it was 10.45am.. rush out and chase the bus 83, went to pay off my bills and head straight to kallang.. omg, she late again, but anyway, i look over it..

went to sebawang, crap place.. then go i-mode, tradition came.. ok, then skip to sebawang HAVE SEBAwaNG.. ok, the arcade was crap.. and make my mrs pig wanna vomit.. then alot of skool kids around, then went to library read a scary ghost book looks like a fairy tale.. LOL.. then liling call, we went to woodlands.. then walk around finally land at arcade.. ok, she first i second in daytona.. so pro.. automatic kiddies.. lol.. then so fun play hockey with her.. hahahaha, first time play arcade with the one i love.. LOL, feel great.. ok, then went to look for stella they all, then heard them say they saw we smack our lips.. kinda shy and pai seh.. LOL.. ok, then went home.. the bloody 961 driver like some voodoo shit, sit the bus will feel vomit and headache..

today the xing hua fang damn nice.. and kinda emotion as i see till ku bao.. the 1 sentence from u may mean nothing to u but it means a million reason to kill a person.. we mus really think before saying.. hahaha, ok.. if u wanna watch please switch to channel 55 on 9pm or 255 at 12pm.. if u wanna watch repeat at 1pm on channel 55 or 4pm..

i love u lots lots my dear..

so it was thursday..

meet poh and tommy at 2.45pm.. im not late so sitting down with poh siliang and waited.. soon tommy came, chat bout some gay things then went to secret long john to wait for wee.. then walk to selegie min che say he's hungry and went over to have his favourite chicken rice.. and siliang get himself some very salty salty fish fried rice.. ok, so whatever no life.. after that went to play dota, then we won the first match and own them.. then they say revenge we play again and they won.. and they were talking craps bout us so? dota its about shouting and taunting so dont get fucked up by it.. tommy relax.. 5 v 5..

ok, we were fucked up and nothing to do so walk to bugis and went to min che shop then what the hell, he ask us go have fun first.. we r cheated so went to some lousy place.. what mega food court, only 3 food stalls and 1 drinks stall.. fuck the person, what mega? no choice, chicken rice then after dinner sit there chill play those childish ku ku passing game.. what pass message then the last one shout it out.. then funny cus those secrets bout siliang and the ulgy bitch mei mei.. LOL.. so so so bored.. then went play pool, me and danny dancing playing with each other breast and the place is really quite nice.. not bad.. then left a few of us cus most of them hav probation and the first time i see siliang so desperate for cab.. ok then saw kok wai.. so long nv see him then so shocked.. then they say play dota and my hp say its going to reach 10.. so i went home and suddenly we remember we forgot to sign out the msn at lan shop.. fuck leh, always forget.. lOL.. then try to console ourself say "aiya nothing happen la.. we nv cb ppl, ppl wont cb us." ok.. then went home.. everybody was giving me the strange stare, what the hell..

that's all.. but i was worrying bout my mrs pig the whole whole day..
get well soon dear.. i wanna play scissors paper stone.. HAHAHAHA..

love you lots..

i am surprisingly blogging using my own lousy lappy.. cus my papa took off his lappy to work and dont wanna let me use.. booo.. i need a brand new com.. god please advice my papa to buy me a new com by sending a msg in his dreams or something.. thanks.. i really really need a new com..

ok, im trying to encourage my lappy not to black out at tis important moment.. i love u my lappy.. please stand by me..

hmm, monday..

went to yishun with mrs pig.. then the place is kinda for ah ma and ah gong and aunties and smelly school kids cus there's totally nth to shop around.. what the hell, its bloody small and there's not even any trendy shops only for mini toons when u can stand down there trying to act like u r shopping but actually listening to the pcd album.. rite? LOL.. ok, then tradition came and maybe its jus too bored in yishun and really such a lousy place.. i advice that yishun is not a good place for couples and i give it 1 star as its cold storage panda biscuit is nice.. but for other things, it sucks, the arcade dun even have marvel vs capcom 2..

then we move to woodlands.. ok, the mos burger was great and my dear beat me on eating fish burger as i kinda like let her win u know? LOL.. the fish burger is awesome over there, please do try it.. its the best burger in mos burger as hong kong even have their outlets.. LOL.. Mountain Ocean Sun rocks.. smack u back danny poh and others who say mos burger sucks.. cus burger too small.. booo shit.. jus nice cus its fries is kinda big but my fries is bigger.. for those dunno, then forget it.. LOl.. then milk tea if u nv add the milk is call ice lemon tea.. cus mrs pig told me n i find it untruth.. if those who wanna discuss tis u can kindly tag at my tagbox.. thanks.. then i did a wrong thing and i really regret it.. so rush back home then send dear home then watch superband along the way home and its so nice till i dun wanna alight the bus.. LOl..

that's monday..

tuesday stinks cus i dint bathe till 3.. so?

wednesday..

im sorry my dear causing ur forehead to pain.. its kinda crap when she jus bugs me like tt.. ok, i kinda like play too hard.. sorry dear.. forgive this ignorant soul ok? to forgive its divine.. ok, she was dead hungry and we when to rivervale mall to get some burgers and what buy a meal free fantastic.. so funny sia.. make me gian about the food.. stupid macdonalds.. stop making me wanna eat.. ntuc dun have the tree trunk biscuit and did i told u where to buy the panda biscuit? its meant to be a secret cus its secret shop.. please dont spread this secret.. thanks.. and my mama appear on tv.. u all know ma? LOL.. ok who cares?

then i almost forgot tt a auntie ride bicycle ask us if there's anyone at the basketball court.. so funny sia.. LOL.. then we walk home eat watch tv and she talk to her long lost minfat and ab.. then watch tv again, eat roti prata her fave.. then the games starts.. i rocks.. hahahahaha.. omg, yesterday was like the best of my life.. i made a history.. and the sprite ice thingy is so fun.. LOL.. so cool and yet so fun.. its a fun fun day.. alrite then every fun things has to come to a dinner at punggol xiaowanmian..

ok that's a fun wednesday and im really sorry my dear.. really sorry.. hope u get well soon, mwaks mwaks.. loving u for the rest of my life.. take care..

today is thursday..
i think i nv go out today.. kind off..

tuesday,

meet dear.. come my house.. eat play then she met her stella to eat and go punggol plaza to shop around the big big ntuc..

wednesday,

dear bought paus and chilli crab cup noodles.. i steam the paus n cook the noodles.. she's tired.. slept.. then same take out her **a zh* then saw my cute things.. then really 1 cent not worth it.. but i will love u only for my whole life dear.. then went home..

thursday,

dear came my house, sleep, then we late to meet lll and stella.. i bring umbrella the first time.. then eat ljs.. send dear to busstop then happenings..

thats life..

i love you my dear always.. no matter what happen, we will always be tog.. mwaks..

i am crazy, i am frustrated, i am mad, i am what i dont know what i am.. i am falling down..



moodless monday.. its bullshit.. argh..

wednesday..

go harbourfront then go big watch a kid play some racing game then tradition..

thursday..

go downtown east see see walk walk tradition see see walk walk at home sleep..



eugene : "i am tearing up inside." -sigh-
its just a disappointment..

i lied in a painful way.. i rather be sad on my own than to have you sad with me.. maybe its the best solution anyway as u seems to have some trouble of ur own.. u may not like it but its better this way..

whatever and whatsoever.. i've go through it already and now i know happiness is by choices..

whatever.. its just my favourite term..

ahhh, yes.. at last i can blog le.. but after i blog tis dunno when i can blog again.. LOL..

recently has been so pissed off by my com so bullshit.. how i wish i can have a new com and play dota like a crazy child..

today..

i know it will suck but i try to get busy with my stuff..

yesterday..

meet late king at kallang.. okok, dont say le.. hahahaha.. then when to dohby ghaut.. see a girl the shirt not nice.. then walk walk walk.. kept taking lifts.. walk here and there then look at the kid playing xbox 360 before eating colin's rice.. then kept talking talking feeding my little princess.. then i so cute yet she say i act cute.. we went to factory.. see so many games, so long still play puzzle bubble.. LOL.. then play voilin still can fight.. then tis guy drive the gtr so pro.. but i dun really think so.. his drifting so lousy and yet he always so fucking heng.. hahahaha.. watever.. i dunno y we see for so long till he lost.. hahahaha.. then went to see yamaha music skool then she say she know how to play all the instrument.. after that when to spotlight.. i cant believe she's a lousy housewife and we actually can play a long time at there.. so stupid lor.. and she is a ji kong so like to play the fan and still act cute holding on the wand.. LOL.. then make me smell those disgusting things.. so yucks lor dear.. then went to mph.. we are such a knowledgable ppl.. LOL.. hahaha, then read wat dragon and rabbit and tiger book.. find out tt im actually a tiger.. then read about food.. LOL.. then she her delicious kueh bahit.. lOl.. then still see her cute kacheek.. hahahaha.. then see those ppl on top.. then went to the cathy there act hamjirou.. LOL.. then walk to the cinema.. i wanna tap her ez link card but cant.. LOL.. ok then went home.. she dont believe me bout the cant go mrt station.. saw alot of ppl then got a group very er xin still follow us everywhere.. ok, then lmg.. then ok.. take the next 62.. same old same old..

really miss my dear lots lots.. although we met each other but i still miss her alot.. i love you so much dear.. always needing u..

sunday

:(

i dont know if you dont understand or you never really pay attention bout me.. i always say i study at night.. and i told you always but i dont know why you still ask me to.. i just wanna chat, cant we just chat? just saying hello and the next is buzz me off.. why juscant people t stop ordering me and let me carry on to my own plans.. if i wanna do it then i do.. when i say i will study i will.. dont need to push me away..

no matter what you see
you always look blind to me
nobody take me seriously
all alone this is eugene

friday,

meet the stupid lao lan dear.. hahahaha.. meeting her at prime bus stop.. hahaha.. then went to watch hfh.. then got a part very long is very funny.. hhahhaa.. so then run around again.. i fall, leg pain.. then dunno do wat le.. then ok tt's all.. LOL.. no highlights for the day.. hahah.. stupid tommy nv ask me along to play dota.. dear, a promise is a promise ok? trust me and give me time.. im a mand of my words alrite?

loving u always my dear..

thursday..

i dunno what happen.. first part of life was like heaven.. the other part was like hell.. i just dont understand why.. i willing to lose my pride my dignity my life for her.. i give in always and always.. i just dont understand.. y girls have to cry and guys must console her? maybe is fated for my life to be like tis.. when im serious in somethings, it just will make me sad.. you are really important to me.. hais..

life is not going smoothly as i plan..
why cant i just kill myself..
arf..

today (wednesday)

special today.. i nv comb hair and travel to kallang meet my dear.. she so loved to chill at the mrt station while i pulling her go to badminton court and macdonalds.. LOL.. almost scared her but too bad she turn back.. hahaha.. stupidity, meet her then come my house, but not straight.. alight off the stupid dunno where busstop and walk a long long long way to rivervale mall.. really so hot and make our mood hot too.. but the playground is really fun.. now i know how to play jingle bells and row row row your boat.. stupid dear.. LOl.. then bought ljs and ock.. then say what i look at food very funny.. LOl.. ok, then walk back home, she cant le.. then ok everything was ok.. then then then.. tired but she pulled me up to clean my house.. then i saw her doing something strange.. SHE TOOK OFF HER *** ***.. lol, u know i know only ok? so stupid lor.. she took off wear again took off wear again.. LOL.. then i lock her up say what wait for my mama then really wait for my mama and ya la, ur clothes really very auntie de nice.. LOL..

yesterday (tuesday)

study play talk eat go home.. that's all..

1 day before yesterday (monday)

ok, when to the enlightment lecture, it was really the best dfund lecture i ever went.. ok, was pretty sick cus i was alone.. went to meet my dear.. so hide lor.. then silent journey to boon lay.. bloody hell, it was like going to hell.. so far and long.. then when to find cinema, such stupid dear, dun even know how to read the arrow.. ahhaha, then queue up and found out the show was 4.20pm.. still have 2++ hours.. wah wah wah, dunno who's idea went to toy 'r' us.. we spend almost our whole lifetime there lor.. kept play around like so fun over there.. and somethings r disgusting and not fun like the sharks, pull stuff, snakes, slimy ball.. it really sucks.. ok, we saw a boy i help him and he wanna join me for he man fanstastic adventure, a young girl nv wear bra, lots more.. LOl.. then the dorm movie really nice and tt's the best movie i ever watch with her.. LOl.. then went to walk around.. she stupid dont dig bout my toilet things.. then went to kiddy palace.. discuss bout this and that like cute hor cute hor.. LOL.. she dislike those fat fat clothes.. then she went home and i went home.. LOL.. fun day with an enjoyable happy time with my dearest..

the rest of my life i only wanna be with you..
my only one and important is you my lim mei wern..
love you only and so much..
mwaks..

yesterday..

first part of my life was real bored.. accompany my dear chat the whole day till evening.. hmm, then call me sing ask me sing twinkle little star kelly version.. LOl.. then i was really late, tommy was on time.. then we conference.. then i reached, wait for late wee, then we move to meridian play pool.. oh, i was pro and then noob and then pro again.. then eat, went to find min che, then dota, then chill at his shop.. all this happen so fast that i dint know it was 11.30pm.. so i call back and ask for ton, but sian la.. ok, then i really really nv call my dear as the fucking dota la, play so long.. i really dint forget to call u dear.. im sorry.. then say wat i kua her phone, what is this lor.. stupid dear.. ok, then talk ar talk till reach home, bathe, sleep..

today,

i dont even know what happen.. so not smooth morning.. then ok abit smooth, then not smooth, then very smooth but she gone le.. LOL.. my dear, dont get angry le ok? i dint mean what i said, i love you so so much.. haaha, then say what so hungry.. such words from her mouth is so amazing and glad.. hoping she can really grow fat, but average fat can le, dont go overboard ok? LOL, like 60-70 ok? LOl.. dont like 80 or 90 wah, i dunno what to say.. LOL.. ok, then whole day bored out.. i dunno what i was doing all day long.. ok.. that's all.. if i say more sian.. hahaha..

i love you lim mei wern,
wo ai ni lim mei wern,
aku cinta kamu lim mei wern,
simi lan simi lan simi lan if somebody is a terroist..

i just love my lim mei wern so much..
missing you..

RECAP..

today,
nth much.. met dear, came my house.. then went to meet stella, saw her papa, meiwern nv call him.. then lol, my fault again.. then she not happy with me for the ice tea, sorry dear, i will change my habit ok? love u always.. then she went off meeting her fren.. then i dont wish to carry on as everything is so fucking sian so i was force to blog..

yesterday,
kbox and dota.. fun and happy.. this wee, is suddenly so pro in dota.. hahahaha, i wonder he is playing at home ma.. tommy is sad.. LOL.. but still it was a great day..

tuesday,
dear came my house.. h to t.. so happy hor? LOL.. then we spend our happy times together.. really love her alot.. lets kept our secret together, i know i will do what i should do ok? LOL..

monday,
went ecp.. its been so long.. LOL.. go what find her sandra end up smelly stinky fishes at giant.. ok, then went to ecp saw this and that.. tis dear is so busybody bout everything.. then stupid dear, pain also never tell me and i pb her all the way, heavier than tommy.. LOL.. hahahaha.. pls accept the fact.. but i really do enjoy the monday with her.. its been long since we have such a great and happy time together.. really love her 1314..

i got a story for everyone..
1 day a ball with a cylinder shape was tied to a huge stone by a string and thrown down to the sea.. day after day, wave after wave, the ball remain unchange and stay the position for a long time.. tis shows that im settled down with the woman that i treasure alot, lim meiwern.. loving you for the rest of my life.. nothing and never will we be seperated as our love is everlasting.. no matter what, i will always be there by your side and loving, caring for you.. mwaks..

i have to blind myself from now on.. seeing those things just upset me.. its better to runaway as i do not know how to face the problems.. fuck off from my life will you? why god have to always make things difficult for me..

sickening people im disgusted by their action..

haha.. friday..

went dota with william, so long nv see him.. kinda miss him [not gay].. LOL.. well, first thing he say me was "fuck you la, jia sheng me dian hua".. LOL.. then he n tommy will kept say me n meiwern living in our own world ignoring all those people out there.. anyway, i only love and care for my dear, dint give a shit to other people views.. we kept playing short games, then danny came.. we play a serious and we own.. LOL, it was really damn fun and funny..

when to cineleisure.. ahh, fuck the place, full of people.. then when yoshinoya after that straight to k box.. les fren came and we jus rock the house down.. LOL.. everything was cool and fun but tommy seems odd.. LOL.. anyway, wee fucker, go scold the kbox girl.. LOL.. ok, we sang till the person chase us out, we still got so many songs sia, cant extend the time.. ok, then we went to find les.. thinking of tonning with tommy, i decided to went home..

but i missing my dear..
loving her so much..

venting anger post..

i hate critics.. i hate those people that talk shit bout me.. why are there some bastards love to do this to me? have i offended them in some ways? if i have, why not tell me straight up.. this really sucks.. why people have to make love so difficult for me.. im angry but what can i do? i dont wish to make things difficult for her.. sucks.. this sucks..

anyway, i will start to take anything easy now.. if anything i can do to please her i will.. as long as she's happy i willing to do anything in this world..

i just love u lots..

those people that is reading my blog, i hope u can help me keep this secret that i have..

thanks..

this morning, i jus overheard my parents quarrelling.. its jus 5.30am.. its so early its so shit already.. i was scared and i was sad.. why does my dad wanna have an affair outside? isnt this family not good for him? i began to hate him cus its not the first time.. and my mama, she jus cant take the pressure.. quarrel is jus their mode of conversation.. i dont know what my dad is thinking.. i really hate him.. willing to waste all the money on a bitch than not increase my allowance or feeding this family.. fuck it.. and still expect so much from me.. everything jus feel so fucked up.. i wanna runaway, but where can i run to.. and wat about my mama? all this stress, i just turn to smoking.. i know it cant help me but when u jus light up the cig, it numbs ur brain and stops the brain from suffering those shits..

so that's what im build up from.. a fucked up family.. but im trying to act like there's nth happen and live my life to the happiest.. everybody just know me for craps and happiness i bring.. but nobody know my skeleton in my closet.. i turn to rap songs cus what those rappers sing, its the world we living.. love songs are just fantasy that make u feel lonelier.. that's what i think..

i know i have a girl beside me to stand by me.. but i hate to bother her with the shit i have in life.. but im still a dog that need her pat on me and encourage me in things i did well.. cus i really need the feeling of im exist in this world n understand what i really need.. sometimes i really hate the joke of other guys watever or watever shit bout other guys.. it just fucked me up more.. compare and contrast fuck that.. i just wanna be as simple as possible.. sometimes i really think that those guys around her are so much better than me maybe that 1 day those guys start to go for her i may lose out.. she ask me to trust her i trust her.. but sometimes my brain just start to be malfunction and things will get worst.. malfunction as there is something fucking me on tt day.. like today.. love, i dedicated all my heart and soul i jus need u to trust me on tis.. u said u trust me but it dont seems to be..

i love you, will u please learn how to trust me?
i really give all i have.. why u still dun believe me..
i love u only for my whole life..
dont say forever if u dont trust me..

i really hate those gossips that wanna talk shit bout me.. if dont know me dun talk shit bout me.. i will kill u motherfuckers.. and u dun need to tell her stuff that she dont like me to do and make her doubt bout me.. and dear, if u hav any doubt jus ask me straight, i will answer it all with truth.. i jus really hate those bastard that gossips.. if im a prick in ur eyes so be it.. if u not happy bout it, come deal with me no need to turn to her.. punks..

hais.. i dont wish to carry on to this sad post..

so many problems in my life.. i wanna wash those stains away but it just stick with me all the time..

WELCOME TO THE SUCK..

sad past bright future?

nobody love to dig out the past they have. but when sometimes some people do, we just went hay wired. cause they wont know how it feels as those pains we've been gone through.

im settled down with you for my whole life.
so dont have any other thoughts alright?
i truely love you and wanna hold you tight.
for this i know my future with you will be bright.

EUGENE TAN JUST LOVE HIS 1 AND ONLY LIM MEI WERN FOR THE WHOLE OF HIS LIFE.

happy valentine's day..

its a wild day.. i cant believe it that my dear is crazy and do some disgusting stuff.. im so belong to her rite now.. LOL.. SHE IS INCREDIBLE.. LOL..

saw a bunch of friendly people.. but saw this sad case that my dear is so busybody about it.. LOL.. and kept comment.. LOL.. hahahahahahaa..

ok, currently rushing to meet a late queen that say meet at 1pm but now already 1.13pm..

i only belong and love lim mei wern forever.. IM VOODOOED.. LOL..

boring sickening monday..

thinking bout army life after watching "JAR HEAD". nice show well, maybe for me..

wake up, bathe, washing my face, go for a walk.. thinking of what to buy end up buying nothing but a meal in long john and saw stella.. LOL, kinda surprising..

dunno where's my dear disappear to.. doesnt seems to have any info bout her today.. i really feel so empty.. expecting her to reply my msg, hmm.. but dunno where's she is.. thinking maybe is she angry with me? no idea..

doing nothing but playing lastknights.. wow, going to be a green rank soon how's exciting but still not happy cus i really miss my dear.. where are she? how i know? really feel so alone..

dear, i really miss u..
where are you? waiting and waiting for your reply..
its painful to wait but i hate to bug you by sending another msg..
dilemma, what the hell..
loving you and needing you always..
:( lalala missing you..

boring sickening monday.. all bout waiting and thinking..

i've been wondering.. friends and love.. i choose love but friends says not steady.. i choose friends but love say im not having enough time with her.. middle man sucks.. why i cant really think of a win-win situation where everyone is happy? i cant give up either one, cus i really need them in life.. dilemma, what the hell.. another pressure that adds up..

thinking bout army life after watching "JAR HEAD". nice show well, maybe for me..

wake up, bathe, washing my face, go for a walk.. thinking of what to buy end up buying nothing but a meal in long john and saw stella.. LOL, kinda surprising..

dunno where's my dear disappear to.. doesnt seems to have any contact with her today.. i really feel so empty.. expecting her to reply my msg, hmm.. but dunno where's she is.. thinking maybe she's angry with me? no idea..

doing nothing but playing lastknights.. wow, going to be a green rank soon how's exciting but still not happy cus i really miss my dear.. where are she? how i know? really feel so alone..

dear, i really miss u..
where are you? waiting and waiting for your reply..
its painful to wait but i hate to bug you by sending another msg..
loving you and needing you always..
:( lalala missing you..

Today's TOPIC : Challenges..

we see this in every area in our lifes, love, studies, work and all sorts of things.. what are challenges? something that will push us to the limit and unleashed our potential? for such a simple guy like me, i hate challenge.. i have no faith in winning ever since.. but still challenges are always there for me.. i dunno why but it is sick.. FUCK THOSE CHALLENGERS.. i dont need this kind of pressure.. anyway, fuck it.. im sick of competition and im lazy to compete.. im just tired and do not wish to be disappointed..

so bottom line,
im not a competitive type.. and i really hate to be judged or compared.. if someone better then lets just pretend to say i will still love you and leave.. maybe that can help me to at least smile while i walk away..

i love you,
with all my heart..
LIM MEI WERN I LOVE YOU..

i feel sadness in my bones.

i thought i found the one i can be with.

end up it hurts more than i can imagine it.

scars has been torn open.

its bleeding,

eugene's life ends here.

it was the best saturday i ever have..
things happen, but it still end up great..
life with my dear is so cool,
tiring, hungry, injuries, secretly..

i love you my dear,
love you till forever,
wont leave you till the rest of my life,
stuck with you forever..

what a saturday..
it may not go out smooth, but it was the best saturday i ever had..
i love you lots dear,
wont ever leave you,
i promise..

i love you forever,
cling on you till the rest of my life..
happy yet tired..

who know what's beneathe me? everybody only see my surfaces which i act like im a happy person.. nobody know's who's me..

sick of my life which currently life is so bad till i spit on it and vomit..

im 19.. old great.. im stepping forward to be a man.. and i wish everything will just get over and done with fast so i can get on with my career and proceed further.. so 1 year older means i have to be 1 year matured.. well, i still wanna enjoy my life so let's leave the mature thoughts when im like 21.. well, doing nth much on my birthday.. gd start actually with my maths quiz, dint thought that it was easy and i was late meeting my dear.. we chill awhile at my house then went off to esplanade.. again, there's a misunderstood.. after esplanade she see me off and we have to meet like 5 days later.. it sucks i know.. went to meet my brother, dine at yoshinoya[whatever for the spelling], watch i am not stupid too, and really enjoy my day with them but still i feel sad.. well, tt's all for my birthday..

thanks lots to everybody that still have a thought for me that its my birthday..
thanks lots for my dear..
my snacks cabinet, my fridge is totally full of ur stuff.. LOL..
im going to be fat..
love u lots my 1 n only dear..
i will be waiting here, only for u..
i really miss u alot.. feel so empty without u..
thanks bros.. u r appreciated..

*crying for you dear*

if god can treat me good..

i wish u can grant my wish to escape reality..

cus i'll be living in a beautiful dream of mine..

you are leaving,
im waiting,
everyday will be missing,
and loving..

the more i see you,
the more i miss you,
the more i dun bear you,

you are leaving,
i know,
it will be hard for me,
i know,
but still i have to pick myself up,
i know,
its going to be a millions of misses,
there will be more,
i shouldnt be selfish,
i shall,
maybe tis well just lets us treasure the time we have,
i will,
i cried and hoping time is moving fast,
i am,
i wanna get ur pictures to weaken the pain,
i wish,
but u wont agreed,
i know,
just have a great time over there,
cus i know,
u happy = i happy..

i love you..
i will be waiting here missing and waiting for you..

Rumors are tumors
Of the sick and mainly useless
When you come to me with these things
It's the shit that I can't deal with
Still I gave you all of me
Faithfulness and honesty
Prayed for God to bring you near
Along with all these tears
When that's what's wrong
That's what I get
For feeling this

i am whatever u say i am.. im tired of arguements.. maybe its time i should teach u bastards some lessons.. stop messing my life.. i really love her.. stop making it difficult for me.. i am watching u bastard that trying so hard to take her away from me.. be careful, dont even know me still wanna talk shit bout me.. mess with me, u r dead.. mess with her, u r dead.. either way, just take note bout it.. i willing to give up my everything for her.. baby i love u only forever..

mesmerised by evil 

peng love heirloom 

What's love?

do we know the answer? do we even know how to love? will we leave each other after a certain point of time.. u say u trust me but im feeling u r just purely saying that to comfort me.. "i love you forever. i wanna be with forever." what's all these things when there's no trust in it? Faith.. all i need is u having FAITH in me.. i suffering, i sacrificing, i willing do changes just to be ur dream guy.. i loved to be myself, i really do.. but i jus love u more than i love myself.. that's y i making changes, but in the end, i dont see any praises, i dont see any happiness, all i can see is sadness.. i never change to get all this, i just want u to be happy.. although im depressed, i try to joke n make u happy.. cus i know, i love you..

im living in shits.. everyday i came home, i jus saw my mama crying, i jus saw my dad's sleeping.. what's all this? where's those family atmosphere i see in the tv? my mama wanna divorce, my dad's having an affair.. who's the fucking victim.. me.. its fucking me.. who give a shit bout my feeling.. all u all know is think for urself, what bout me? u know im suffering? u know i'll jus be a problem child? what future will i have when im living in this kind of family? i just dont believe in love n i just dont trust marriage.. why are you all so irresponsible and give me these thoughts? im grown up, i know what's right what's wrong.. but no matter how old i am, i need a family isnt tt rite? i need to be loved..

I HATE ME. I HATE MY LIFE.. I HATE ALL THIS SICKENING STUFF THAT'S HAPPENING.. IM BREAKING DOWN.. BUT NOBODY CARES.. WHAT'S THE POINT OF LIVING? NOBODY APPRECIATES ME.. IM JUST A NOBODY.. NOTHING IS RIGHT.. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.. FUCKED UP..

BURN MYSELF INTO ASHES..