NSF

How does this 2 yrs going to change my life. It has been awhile since i blog cus I'm really been worn out by NS.. why is it so difficult for me to go through. Others can pass it normally or even enjoying it, for me, i can adapt but i cant change character to adapt it.

I don't aim high, i have no urgency, i don't lead, so how am I going to survive. and right now, days are getting more and more tough for me. I'm now an engineer which is quite a tough vocation. Just like the course i undergoing now, its just 2weeks and i am barely surviving it.

Sometimes, i am curious whether people are born to be selfish or they choose to be selfish. In army, is not surprising to find a handful of these fuckers. Yes, i use the word FUCKER cus i am really pissed with them.

Example: Tomorrow i need to wake up at 3am, and my rest of bunk mates wake up at 6 as they are not on course. There's a trend of playing magic cards now in the platoon and count myself unlucky to have 1 crazy addict that loves to play. He know i have to wake up at 3, but he still play his fucking card with his friends and talks, laughs loud. I mean its ok for me to sleep with lights on but its too much for me to take the noise level. So i went up and told them "do you know i need to wake up early tomorrow?" guess what they say, "Ya, i know, so you better don't wake me up." After that sentence, i fucking wanna slap his mouth till his tooth drop out. Damn asshole, thinking that he is a white horse, he can do anything he wants but that's too bad cus I really don't give a fuck about it. damn inconsiderate selfish.

I really don't understand, as we both are human, we both have mother and father, why is it so hard to spare a thoughts for your own bunkmtaes. anyway, fuck them.

Lets sleep.

A 2 weeks Soldier

I'm back for tekong and today is jus my fucking last day. Times seems fast in Singapore. Days in Singapore are sure not enough for me.


Well, in all my life I am just pleasing everyone. Lets just say I try to please everyone. But sometimes, i really need some space for me to at least breathe and recuperate. Its tough for me. There are really too many things to do and sleeping are just a need that i have been craving for so long and right now I have not done so. I know I will suffer at the last but for me, what's more important than to see the one you love smiles and laugh at the things you do.

I miss you dear..

Take care..

It has a million years since I ever blog, and everytime I blog is during my low period.

THIS TIME IT AINT ANY DIFFERENT.

Why does guys should not get treated like people do? Everytime, they are expected to take in shits that girls throw, eat it, swallow it and feel good. Everytime, they are expected to treat girls every second every minute every hour every day every month every year every decade good. Everytime, they are expected not to blame girls in any wrong they ever done. Everytime they expected to give in even they are not in the wrong.

WHY NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND?

Oh, girls have to give birth ma.. Girls have periods ma.. Girls are weak ma.. Girls are this ma..

Then guys cant have shit in job? Guys cant be stressful in maintaining family n job? Guys cant be tired and worn out? Guys cant be upset or unhappy?

Why do u all think that guys love to drink n girls dont? Cus guys cant vent anger on anybody.. Can guys get shit in job n go home show off his anger? Nope, its wrong. Girls leh, feeling unhappy, scold us and show us attitude are not wrong.

I cant be unhappy. Even I am, it can only last a second. Everything its my fault, no matter what i do its not enough. How hard i try it cant be appreciated. It will always be not enough not what i want not good not even understand me.

MY job is tough, i told you yet you didnt even feel a thing. Its hard for me. Its really hard. SO? I have a headache. SO? I did things for you. SO?

I'm a angry man. YES I AM. Its hard for me to change, just like its hard for you to change anything. But how? Play dota lor. Can kill those bastards then laugh at them then team mates will say you Wa so pro. Then i feel like a happy man. I need praises and vent my anger to carry on. I cant get it from you so I get alternative resources which is dota. But i cant play cus i have to dedicate my every second to you. THen where does my anger go? Accumilate lor. Till a point of cant take it, I erupted. And this is the point of time you will say I have bad temper.

LIKE THAT HOW? PLEASE SHOW ME A WAY..

Zzzzz

Who the fuck ever think of hey eugene have a sore throat, let him rest a fucking while?

I care for you. I scared you couldnt wake up or tired i decide to meet u at 11 at ur house. I still wake up at 9.15 with a very bad headache and shit. Toilet in use. I waited outside for my turn n my phone was in a silent mode if it wasnt, that i should be able to answer your 1.23am call.. So i dint reply or dint answer your call, thinking u haven wake up and not by purpose. As it is really late, i went back n surprise tt i receive ur call n msg. I call u back but you just scold me. OH its my fault.

Now at night. My throat hurts coughing like mad. I just say something that is stupid. You want me to repeat. I did say nth, but you still want me to repeat. I repeat and you cant hear. So its repeat and repeat. But not enough. You need me to repeat so many times then u will say its too loud the background sound. You just yell at me. Well, im angry. I say back. or i scold u. Cus its really hurts me too much my throat.

Everything its my fault. Im sorry.

I am a sad fuck that always gets the blame.


SELFISH.







ALL YOU KNOW ITS YOURSELF, HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF OTHERS?

Happy New Year Everyone.

First blog of 2008. It should be a good one but too bad.

This season, it seems like a trend of "eugene do this, eugene do that". I hate it. Why everybody can't do things on their own? They all answer you, "I am busy". Well, go to hell then. I am busy too, I have so much things to do too. When I rest and relax abit, these people will haunt me and say since I am so free please help out. BULLSHIT. You all find time for yourself, why can't I? I am alien that work everyday? I guess lately I have been sleeping less than 6hrs a day. That is whole lot lesser than the time i spend do things. I am very tired, I need some sleep. I guess I will get worked up easily lately.

Anyway, i got a good celebration welcoming 08. So, its not that bad. Gosh, Time to do work.

With good attitude, Helps come Easily.
Learn IT.