Another.

It's another week of misfortune. I had enough I had worn-out. Things have not been good for me, maybe there's a reason. I feel useless and worthless at home. I dont wanna stay at home, its like there's no reason for me to stay. I wanna work, i wanna study, i wanna spend as much time as possible outside. Life at home is much worst than a dog eat dog world outside.

What worst than a non-stop nags. Its like a 7-11 nag store open at home. Even i'm sleeping, 8+am, must wake me up and tell me "I went out. You clean the house. What time your mama go out, remember to clean house." I never always get to sleep enough with a person around like this. I cant have a quiet time, everytime come in my room and nag nag nag, gossip gossip, talk talk talk, i really have enough.. Talk can, but kept repeating the same thing keeps me fed up. Some more, tell her to do things, she wont listen and later on leads to quarrel. Then say not her fault not her mistake nothing wrong. Is it old people tends to be this way? Therefore i never ever show my frustration.

Monday. Meet tommy and yanda and wee. So long sia. So long to have the 3 of us tog with yanda. But yanda go meet his kuku girl after 1 hour. Went over to wee house to bath then talk then go tiong bahru plaza cause he dont wanna spend money. We have a budget outing, just sit talk and home. Tommy doesnt look like last time, as in, he's more hip hop and always looking at his watch to get home early. Wee, he change to a carefully money spender. Doesnt look like what he used to be. So does me. Anyway, we end early so didnt really enjoy to the fullest. And fuck tommy, always so last minute.

Tuesday. Meet meiwern. What's there to be say. Is it every month of a week there will be mood swing? But its really too much of a mood swing. Its really hard for me to accept it. I already try but maybe for that day i got too much in my head. Thumbdrive, not enough sleep and so on. What's wrong with me. I am sorry dear, i am sorry for not understanding. Its my bad.

Today. Results cuts my mood into pieces. Im sorry. I wanna be alone. But i cant. Constantly there will be a person that follows me like my shadow around this house and talk and talk. Its driving me nuts and i am really tolerating towards my limit. But what can i say, its not her fault to live with us. I cant blame her. My life is like a tumour to me. Its getting worst after each day. What's happening. What have i done. I really wanna pause and take a break.

The worst happen
and its so sudden
It came un-prepare
right now i am despair.