those people that is reading my blog, i hope u can help me keep this secret that i have..

thanks..

this morning, i jus overheard my parents quarrelling.. its jus 5.30am.. its so early its so shit already.. i was scared and i was sad.. why does my dad wanna have an affair outside? isnt this family not good for him? i began to hate him cus its not the first time.. and my mama, she jus cant take the pressure.. quarrel is jus their mode of conversation.. i dont know what my dad is thinking.. i really hate him.. willing to waste all the money on a bitch than not increase my allowance or feeding this family.. fuck it.. and still expect so much from me.. everything jus feel so fucked up.. i wanna runaway, but where can i run to.. and wat about my mama? all this stress, i just turn to smoking.. i know it cant help me but when u jus light up the cig, it numbs ur brain and stops the brain from suffering those shits..

so that's what im build up from.. a fucked up family.. but im trying to act like there's nth happen and live my life to the happiest.. everybody just know me for craps and happiness i bring.. but nobody know my skeleton in my closet.. i turn to rap songs cus what those rappers sing, its the world we living.. love songs are just fantasy that make u feel lonelier.. that's what i think..

i know i have a girl beside me to stand by me.. but i hate to bother her with the shit i have in life.. but im still a dog that need her pat on me and encourage me in things i did well.. cus i really need the feeling of im exist in this world n understand what i really need.. sometimes i really hate the joke of other guys watever or watever shit bout other guys.. it just fucked me up more.. compare and contrast fuck that.. i just wanna be as simple as possible.. sometimes i really think that those guys around her are so much better than me maybe that 1 day those guys start to go for her i may lose out.. she ask me to trust her i trust her.. but sometimes my brain just start to be malfunction and things will get worst.. malfunction as there is something fucking me on tt day.. like today.. love, i dedicated all my heart and soul i jus need u to trust me on tis.. u said u trust me but it dont seems to be..

i love you, will u please learn how to trust me?
i really give all i have.. why u still dun believe me..
i love u only for my whole life..
dont say forever if u dont trust me..

i really hate those gossips that wanna talk shit bout me.. if dont know me dun talk shit bout me.. i will kill u motherfuckers.. and u dun need to tell her stuff that she dont like me to do and make her doubt bout me.. and dear, if u hav any doubt jus ask me straight, i will answer it all with truth.. i jus really hate those bastard that gossips.. if im a prick in ur eyes so be it.. if u not happy bout it, come deal with me no need to turn to her.. punks..

hais.. i dont wish to carry on to this sad post..

so many problems in my life.. i wanna wash those stains away but it just stick with me all the time..

WELCOME TO THE SUCK..